Book Review
An overview of the book
The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex by Heather Anderson, Fay Angelo and Rose Stewart is what I would call a ‘first book’ for tweens and teens on how to have respectful relationships. It talks about sex but it also talks about all the other parts that make up healthy and safe relationships.
This book was first published in 2015, so it is very recent and relevant in regards to the new risks that teens face. In our day, it was HIV or AIDS, STIs (sexually transmitted infections), alcohol and unplanned pregnancy. Today we can add in a few new risks such as drugs, online porn, sexting, bullying and the online world.
The authors come from a very hands-on background. Fay comes from a teaching background, Heather is a Sexual Health Nurse/ Sex Educator and Rose is a teacher and School Psychologist. So they are dealing with this tweens & teens and sex every day.
​​The authors have 3 earlier books. One for boys, Secret Boy’s Business, and one for younger girls, Secret Girl’s Business. They have then published More Secret Girls’ Business which is for older girls.
These earlier books mainly focus on puberty and are gender-specific. What I love about them is that they don’t talk about sex within these books. A lot of puberty books talk about everything, trying to squeeze all the information that a child could possibly want to know, into the one book. This is great in theory, as you only have to buy the one book. In reality, though, this is problematic as it includes information that most kids just aren’t ready for. So it is good to have all the sexual content that tweens and teens need to know about added into another book, like The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex.
So giving a book to an 11 year old that talks about oral sex, or anal sex or orgies and stuff just isn’t appropriate because they’re just not interested in that stuff (yet). If anything, it is going to scare them and give them the wrong messages about sex. So you want to sort of hold off with giving them too much detail and information about sex until they are a little bit older.
Once kids start to progress through puberty and the sex hormones have started to kick in all, it is only then, that they then begin to show an interest in sex. It is only now, that they finally start to see sex as something that they may actually want to do (whereas before they just saw it as textbook material/behaviour). And this happens because of the sex hormones that change the way that we think and feel about sex.
So what’s inside this book?
The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex is much bigger than the earlier puberty books with about 130 pages What I love about these books is that it is not like reading a novel which is all words. Give a novel to a 12 year old with all small words and they most probably won’t read it. This book is different in that it has lots of images, and the words are broken up into readable sections very nicely. And despite the sexual content (eg masturbation), the images are not explicit or offensive (or scary!).
The book, The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex, covers a lot of territory! In regards to relationships, it talks about what makes up a healthy friendship, romantic feelings, sexual diversity, gender identity, emotional and physical safety.
The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex also talks about:
- Conception, pregnancy and birth.
- Sexual decision-making.
- Contraception
- Unplanned pregnancy.
- Sexually transmitted infections.
- Consent, sex and the law.
I think that The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex is ideal as a first sex book that kids should have because it isn’t a sex manual, like many other books for teens. As a parent, we are often reluctant to provide our kids with too much information about sex. I see this book as a halfway point as it talks about the important stuff but it doesn’t provide them with information about everything to do with sex! They can read those books when they are 14 or 15 or 16 (depending on their maturity and level of interest).
I think that The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex is a great book, a book that all tweens and early teens should have. It is a good first book on sex for this age group as it provides the information in a very age-appropriate and non-judgemental way.
Ideal Age
Ideal for children aged 12 to 14 years.
Buy this book
✅ Buy a copy of The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex by Heather Anderson, Fay Angelo and Rose Stewart from Amazon.
Video Transcription
A transcription in case you are more of a reader than a listener
Hey there! So, I wanted to share with you this amazing book that I absolutely love called The Secret Business of Relationships, Love and Sex by Heather Anderson, Fay Angelo, and Rose Stewart. These three awesome women from Eastern Australia have put together a series of about six or seven books, covering topics like disability and non-disability.
Let’s start by talking about puberty. The book has separate sections for girls and boys, which I think is great. What I really appreciate about these puberty books is that they focus solely on puberty and don’t dive into the nitty-gritty details of sex. I mean, let’s be honest, giving a book to an eleven-year-old that talks about oral sex, anal sex, or orgies is just not appropriate. They’re not interested in that stuff yet, and it might even scare them. So it’s best to hold off on giving them too much detailed information about sex until they’re a bit older.
Once they start going through puberty and those hormones start kicking in, they’ll naturally become more curious about sex. They’ll also start having what the book calls sexy feelings or sexy thoughts. It’s all part of growing up and understanding their own bodies. This particular book is a biggie, with 130 pages, but don’t worry, it’s not like reading a boring novel. It’s filled with beautiful imagery that keeps it engaging and relatable for young readers.
The illustrations are pretty straightforward, nothing too explicit or scary. There’s even a section on masturbation, sexual assault, contraception, and other important topics. They also cover same-sex relationships, asexuality, and gender, which I think is fantastic. The book really covers a lot of ground.
If you take a look at the index, you’ll see all the relevant stuff they talk about. It’s perfect for kids who are just starting to explore their sexuality or becoming aware of their own sexual feelings. I truly believe that this book is a must-have for tweens and early teens. It’s a great starting point before diving into more adult and factual information about sex.
At this age, it’s important to keep things age-appropriate, and this book does just that. The terminology used is spot-on, making it easier for you to have conversations with your kids about topics like porn, adoption, abortion, or even what a condom is. It’s all explained in a way that they can understand and relate to.
So, all in all, I think this book is fantastic and highly recommend it to all parents. It’s the perfect first book to have when talking about sex, relationships, and love. The title itself is so fitting, don’t you think?
I hope this helps! Cheers!
