The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort

Hey there! I’m Cath Hak, and welcome to Sex Ed Rescue. On my YouTube channel and website, Sexedrescue.com, I review a ton of books because I truly believe that books can make conversations about sex feel more natural. Today, I want to talk about a book that might be helpful for curious teens who want to know how sex actually happens.

The book I’m referring to is called The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort. Now, many of us adults remember sneaking a peek at this book when it was hidden away in our parents’ cupboards. It was first written by Alex Comfort and features illustrations by males, so keep that in mind as you go through it.

The book was revised in 2014, but the content is still a bit dated. It talks about things like frigidity and includes some stereotypes. You see, it was written in the Seventies, so it reflects the free love era. But here’s the thing: this book isn’t meant to teach kids about values. It’s for teenagers who are naturally curious about sex. Remember how it was when we were growing up? Sex was whispered about, and everyone acted like they knew all the ins and outs, even though they hadn’t experienced it themselves. We all felt this pressure to be perfect at something we didn’t fully understand.

So, it’s no surprise that kids today turn to Google when they’re curious about something. Need to know what time a store closes? Google it. Looking to buy face masks? Google it. Wondering how sex happens? Kids Google it too. And if we don’t want them learning about sex from porn, we need to provide them with safe and accurate information that satisfies their curiosity.

That’s where books like The Joy of Sex come in. It gives teenagers the lowdown on the mechanics of sex. Now, let me clarify, I wouldn’t hand this book to a twelve-year-old. But if my fifteen-year-old daughter wanted to know more about the mechanics, I’d say, Hey, take a look at this book. For younger kids, they just need to understand the basics, like the penis goes into the vagina. They don’t need to know all the different positions and techniques just yet. But for teenagers who are starting to think about sex, they might wonder how it actually works. Is it like putting Lego pieces together or something else? Remember how we felt when we were learning about sex? It’s the same for them.

Now, this book does have sexually explicit pictures, including genitals. But as a sex therapist, I didn’t find anything too explicit or pornographic. There are color pictures at the beginning, but it transitions to black and white later on. The book covers topics like touch, different positions, and has some information at the back. Some of the information may be outdated, but the mechanics of sex haven’t changed.

I want to mention that this book can be a bit pricey. I borrowed it from a library, and it seems like not many people have checked it out. So, you might want to check your local library or second-hand bookshops. You might find a copy there. Just keep in mind that some of the information is outdated, but it can still be a valuable resource for understanding the mechanics of sex.

If you do decide to get this book, I encourage you to have conversations about the parts that bother you or that you don’t like. It’s a great opportunity to discuss why certain terms or ideas are outdated and how societal attitudes towards sex have changed over time.

I hope this review was helpful to you. Remember, as your kids get older, it might be worth considering having a book like this on your shelves. I might even go on a hunt myself this weekend. There’s a second-hand shop down the street, and the owner is quite knowledgeable. I’m curious to see his reaction when I ask about it!

Anyway, I hope you found this information useful. Cheers!