A Parent’s Guide to Discussing Therapy with Your LGBTQIA+ Child
Talking to your LGBTQIA+ child about therapy can feel delicate, especially if you’re trying to be supportive without implying there’s something “wrong” with who they are. Done thoughtfully, though, therapy can be framed as a tool for empowerment, healing, and self-exploration – not a reaction to their identity.
This guide will walk you through how to approach the conversation with compassion, clarity, and respect.
This series of blog posts was written by Kristen Buck, Master of Sexology (Professional) and Bachelor of Psychology with Honours, during a clinical placement at Sex Ed Rescue.
You’ll find more information about sex education in my Sex Education 101 page.
Let’s get started!
1. Understand Why You’re Suggesting Therapy
Before bringing it up, get clear on your motivations.
- Are you noticing signs of anxiety, depression, or isolation?
- Has your child experienced bullying, discrimination, or trauma?
- Are they navigating coming out, transitioning, or exploring their identity and could use support?
- Do you want to help them build tools for resilience in a society that can still be unkind?
Therapy should not be suggested just because they are LGBTQIA+. Their identity is not a problem, but the challenges that come with living in a heteronormative or transphobic world can take a mental toll.
Find practical tools to educate kids about sex education in the Sex Ed Shop
2. Set the Right Tone
When you bring it up, the goal is to sound caring and supportive, not critical or worried.
Try:
- “I want to check in with you about how you’re feeling. You’ve been through a lot, and I want to make sure you have support, not just from me, but from someone trained to help.”
Avoid:
- “I think you need therapy”
- “I’m worried something’s wrong with you”
- “We’re sending you to someone who can fix this”
3. Use Affirming Language
Make sure you frame therapy as a resource, not a reaction to a problem.
Say things like:
- “Therapy can be a safe space where you talk about whatever you want, completely free from judgment.”
- “You deserve someone who understands the unique challenges LGBTQIA+ people can face.”
- “Even adults get therapy, I’ve gone before too.” (if true for you, this can be particularly helpful in removing stigma!)
Normalise it. Talk about mental health like you would physical health.
4. Make It About Empowerment and Choice
Teenagers and young adults especially need autonomy. Frame therapy as an option they control, not something being done to them.
You can say:
- “I found a few LGBTQIA+ affirming therapists, if that’s something you’d want to try. You’d be totally in charge of what you talk about.”
- “You don’t have to decide today. I just want you to know therapy’s there if you ever want it.”
And mean it – don’t push or guilt them.
5. Involve Them in the Process
If they’re open to it, let them:
- Help choose a therapist
- Read bios or watch intro videos
- Set goals for what they’d want to talk about
- Ask about virtual vs. in-person options and what they’d be most comfortable with
Reinforce that they can switch therapists if it doesn’t feel like a fit. A good match matters, especially for LGBTQIA+ youth.
6. Offer to Support – But Don’t Invade
Depending on their age and comfort level, offer to:
- Help with logistics (referrals, booking, transportation, insurance etc.)
- Sit in on the first session only if they want
- Respect their privacy – therapy is confidential for a reason!
7. Validate, Always!
Regardless of whether they say yes to therapy, your job is to validate their identity and their emotions.
Let them know:
- You love them unconditionally
- You believe them
- You’re proud of who they are
Example Scripts
Opening the Conversation
“I’ve been thinking a lot about how to support you better. There’s so much pressure on young LGBTQIA+ people, and it’s okay to need extra support. Would you ever be open to talking with someone, like a therapist who understands this stuff?”
If They’re Unsure or Say No
“That’s totally okay. If it ever feels like something you want to explore, I can help – no pressure. It’ll always be your call.”
If They’re Interested
“Awesome. I’ve looked into some therapists who specialise in working with LGBTQIA+ kids. We can check them out together, or I can give you the info if you want to look on your own.”
Final Thoughts
- Don’t equate LGBTQIA+ identity with pathology. Therapy is about support, not fixing.
- Respect their boundaries. Let them lead when they’re ready.
- Model emotional openness. Consider your own therapy, too.
- Celebrate small wins. Even talking about therapy is a big step.
Looking for more sex education resources? Then visit my Sex Education 101 page!
References
https://www.nami.org/your-journey/identity-and-cultural-dimensions/lgbtq/
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513X09354454
https://www.journals.aseiacademic.org/index.php/ijsei/article/view/290