A Parent’s Guide to Improving LGBTQIA+ Representation (Even Without Lived Experience)

You want your child to grow up in a world that reflects all kinds of people, stories, and love, even if you don’t personally know anyone who is LGBTQIA+ or haven’t lived it yourself. That matters so much! This guide is here to help you bring inclusive, affirming, and diverse representation into your home in ways that are easy, meaningful, and joyful – for your child and for you.

You’ll find more information about sex education in my Sex Education 101 page.

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Why Representation Matters

Children absorb messages from the world around them, and seeing people of different genders, identities, and relationships helps kids grow up kinder, more accepting, and more confident in themselves and others. Even if your child isn’t LGBTQIA+, they’ll benefit from understanding and respecting the wide spectrum of human experiences.

Start at Home: Create an Inclusive Environment

1. Use Inclusive Language

• Swap “boyfriend/girlfriend” with “partner” or “crush.”
• Say “families come in all shapes and sizes—two moms, two dads, one parent, grandparents, etc.”
• Normalise pronouns: “Hi! My name is Sarah, and I use she/her pronouns.”

Why it matters: It shows that there’s no “default” way to be.

2. Fill Your Shelves with Queer Joy

• Books: Look for picture books, middle-grade, and YA stories with LGBTQIA+ characters, especially those that celebrate rather than struggles.
  • Some examples:
    • Julian Is a Mermaid by Jessica Love
    • Prince & Knight by Daniel Haack
    • Melissa by Alex Gino
    • The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen
• Movies & TV: Seek out content that includes diverse families, gender non-conforming characters, or queer-positive storylines (see tip below for how to find them).
• Toys & Clothes: Encourage play that isn’t boxed in by gender roles. Let kids explore freely!

Representation Beyond the Media

3. Seek Out Queer Creators and Artists

• Follow LGBTQIA+ authors, illustrators, musicians, and influencers (especially family-friendly ones).
• Support queer-owned bookstores or shops if available—even online.

4. Celebrate LGBTQIA+ Dates Together

• Mark your calendar for:
  • Pride Month (June)
  • Trans Day of Visibility (March 31)
  • National Coming Out Day (October 11)
• Do a themed craft, read a relevant book, or learn about LGBTQIA+ history together. Make it celebratory, not just educational!

Learn Alongside Your Kids

5. Be Curious and Open

• You don’t need all the answers. What matters is your willingness to learn.
• Read beginner-friendly guides (like this one!)
• Listen to queer voices (books, podcasts, essays, TED Talks)
• Practice saying: “I don’t know, but I’d love to find out with you.”

Build Empathy and Understanding

6. Talk About Differences With Respect

• Explain that being LGBTQIA+ is just one of many ways to be human.
• Encourage questions. If your child asks something you’re unsure about, say, “That’s a great question. Let’s look it up together.”

Tools to Make It Easier

Here are a few friendly, practical ways to bring LGBTQIA+ stories and perspectives into your child’s world:

• Storytime Rotation: Make sure at least 1–2 books per month include queer characters.
• Library Trips: Ask your librarian for LGBTQIA+ inclusive recommendations by age group.
• Playlists: Add songs by LGBTQIA+ artists to your family playlist (Troye Sivan, Janelle Monáe, Brandi Carlile).
• TV Time: Shows like Steven Universe, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, or Heartstopper (for older kids) are great places to start.

Long-Term Tips

7. Model Inclusivity

Your child is always watching you. Speak up when you hear homophobia or transphobia. Show compassion. Let them see that fairness matters to you, even when it’s uncomfortable.

8. Make Room for Growth

You may get something wrong – and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re trying. Apologise when needed, stay humble, and keep learning. Growth is powerful modelling.

You’re Already Doing Something Wonderful

The fact that you’re even reading this means you’re creating a home where your child can grow into a kind, open-hearted human. Whether they end up identifying as LGBTQIA+ or simply grow up to be a strong ally, the love and acceptance you foster will shape who they become.

And remember – you don’t have to be perfect to make a difference. You just have to be intentional.