A Parent’s Guide to LGBTQIA+ Terminology
This guide is here to help you navigate the beautiful, complex, and ever-evolving world of LGBTQIA+ identities and terms. You don’t have to get it all perfect overnight. What matters most is that you’re trying.
Let’s break it down in a way that doesn’t feel too overwhelming.
This series of blog posts was written by Kristen Buck, Master of Sexology (Professional) and Bachelor of Psychology with Honours, during a clinical placement at Sex Ed Rescue.
You’ll find more information about sex education in my Sex Education 101 page.
Let’s get started!
What Does LGBTQIA+ Stand For?
Let’s start with the acronym itself. It’s a growing umbrella that represents a wide range of identities related to gender, sexuality, and attraction.
- L – Lesbian: A woman who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other women.
- G – Gay: Usually refers to a man attracted to other men, but some women also use this term to describe same-gender attraction.
- B – Bisexual: A person attracted to more than one gender (not necessarily equally).
- T – Transgender: A person whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth.
- Q – Queer: A broad and flexible term some people use to describe non-straight or non-cisgender identities. (Some older folks still see it as a slur, but many in younger generations have reclaimed it proudly.)
- I – Intersex: A person born with physical sex characteristics that don’t fit typical definitions of male or female (penis or vagina). Being intersex is about biology, not identity.
- A – Asexual (or Aromantic/Agender): People who may not experience sexual attraction (asexual), romantic attraction (aromantic), or don’t identify with any gender (agender).
- + – Plus: Represents the many other identities that exist outside of these labels.
Find practical tools to educate kids about sex education in the Sex Ed Shop
Gender Identity vs. Sexual Orientation
- Gender Identity: How someone experiences and expresses their own gender internally (e.g., man, woman, nonbinary).
- Sexual Orientation: Who someone is attracted to romantically or sexually (e.g., straight, gay, pansexual).
These are not the same thing! Someone can be transgender and straight, or nonbinary and gay.
Common Terms & Definitions
1. Cisgender (Cis)
- A person whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. For example, if you were labelled female at birth and identify as a woman, you’re cis.
2. Transgender (Trans)
- Someone whose gender identity is different from the sex assigned at birth. Not all trans people medically transition, and that’s totally valid.
- Some of the trans related terms you may come across include:
- MTF – Male to female transition
- FTM – Female to male transition
- AFAB – Assigned female at birth
- AMAB – Assigned male at birth
3. Nonbinary
- A gender identity that doesn’t fit neatly into “man” or “woman.”
- Genderfluid – Gender changes over time
- Agender – No gender
- Bigender – Two genders
- Demiboy/Demigirl – Partially identifying as a boy/girl
4. Pansexual
- Attraction to people regardless of gender. (Think: “hearts not parts.”)
5. Asexual
- Experiences little or no sexual attraction. They might still want romantic relationships, or not!
6. Aromantic
- Experiences little or no romantic attraction. They might still enjoy deep friendships or platonic bonds.
7. Questioning
- A term for people who are still exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity. It’s okay not to have it all figured out.
8. Ally
- That’s you!
- Allies are people who aren’t LGBTQIA+ themselves but support the community and advocate for the equal rights of all!
Words About Transitioning (for Trans & Nonbinary Folks)
- Coming out: When someone shares their LGBTQIA+ identity with others. This can happen multiple times in life.
- Transition: The process someone may go through to live as their true gender. This can be social (changing name, pronouns), legal (changing documents), or medical (hormones or surgery) – or none of these.
- Deadname: A name a trans person no longer uses. It’s respectful not to use or ask about it unless the person brings it up.
- Pronouns: Words like he/him, she/her, they/them used in place of names. Always use the pronouns your child asks for – it means a lot.
Friendly Tips for Parents
- Ask questions (respectfully): If you’re unsure, say, “Hey, I want to get it right – can I ask you something?”
- Get used to new pronouns: Practice them. Try saying your child’s pronouns in the mirror. It’s a small thing that makes a big difference.
- Be patient with yourself: You might mess up. Just apologise and keep trying. Your effort shows love.
- Affirm them: Say “I’m proud of you” or “Thank you for trusting me.” It goes a long way.
- Keep learning: Language changes. People change. It’s okay to evolve together.
Bonus Terms You Might Hear
- Neopronouns: Newer pronouns beyond he/she/they (like xe/xem, ze/zir). Used by some nonbinary people.
- Chosen family: The supportive people someone surrounds themselves with, especially when biological family isn’t accepting.
- Microaggressions: Subtle, often unintentional, comments or actions that can be hurtful (e.g., “You don’t look gay!”).
- Passing: When a person is perceived by others as their gender identity (often used in the context of trans folks).
- Misgendering: Referring to someone with the wrong pronouns or gendered language.
Final Thoughts
The most important takeaway? Your love and support mean everything.
You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to memorise every term. Just show up, ask questions, listen with an open heart, and let your child know you’re there, always.
Looking for more sex education resources? Then visit my Sex Education 101 page!
References
https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/lgbtiqa-glossary-common-terms
https://www.lgbtqiahealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Glossary-2020.08.30.pdf