Confident Conversations: A Parent’s Guide to Talking About LGBTQIA+ and Gender Identity with Young Children

Talking with young kids about LGBTQIA+ topics and gender identity doesn’t have to be intimidating – it can be natural, joyful, and age-appropriate. The goal isn’t to have a big, one-time “talk,” but to normalise these ideas as part of everyday life. Kids are curious and open-minded by nature, when you’re confident, it helps them feel safe, secure, and loved as they learn about the beautiful diversity of people around them!

You’ll find more information about sex education in my Sex Education 101 page.

Let’s get started!

How to Build Confidence as a Parent

1. Start with Your Own Learning

You don’t have to be an expert to teach your child well. Start with small steps:

• Read children’s books with LGBTQIA+ characters.
• Familiarise yourself with terms like gender identity, transgender, nonbinary, and queer.
• Remember: if you’re willing to learn and grow, that’s already a huge win!

2. Practice Saying the Words Out Loud

It might feel awkward at first – but that’s okay! Try saying:

• “Some families have two moms or two dads.”
• “Some people are boys, some are girls, and some are both or neither.”
• “LGBTQIA+ is a word that describes people who love differently or have a different gender.”

Say it in the mirror. Say it while making dinner. Confidence comes with practice.

3. Keep It Simple and Honest

Young kids don’t need complex explanations, they need clarity and kindness. Use phrases like:

• “There are lots of ways to be a person.”
• “Love is love.”
• “Everyone deserves to be who they are.”

Talking to Young Kids: What It Can Sound Like

Scenario	What You Might Say
Your child asks why a boy is wearing a dress	“Clothes don’t have a gender, anyone can wear what makes them feel good!”
You meet a same-gender couple	“That’s their partner! Just like Mommy and Daddy love each other, they do too.”
Your child says, “I don’t feel like a boy/girl”	“That’s okay! You get to tell me how you feel inside, and I’ll always listen.”
You want to start the conversation	“Did you know some people are born a boy or girl but feel different inside? Isn’t that interesting?”

Make It Part of Everyday Life

You don’t need a big moment to bring these ideas into your child’s world. Try:

• Books: Choose stories with LGBTQIA+ characters (check out Julian is a Mermaid, Heather Has Two Mommies, or It Feels Good to Be Yourself).
• TV and Toys: Talk about characters or dolls who are different from your child.
• Play and Imagination: Let your child explore roles, clothes, and ideas freely.

Everyday moments = learning opportunities!

Be the Calm, Confident Voice

When you talk about these topics like they’re totally normal (because they are!), your child absorbs that energy. Here’s what helps:

• Use positive, matter-of-fact language
  “Yep, some boys love boys, and that’s totally okay.”
• Avoid big reactions (even good ones!)
  Normalise rather than spotlight: “Oh, cool,” is better than “WOW, isn’t that amazing!?”
• If you don’t know something, say so with confidence
  “Great question! I’m going to look that up so I can explain it better.”

Don’t Worry About “Too Much, Too Soon”

Talking about LGBTQIA+ identity with young kids is not about sex – it’s about:

• Love
• Family
• Identity
• Respect

It’s about showing them that all people matter and deserve to feel safe being themselves.

Affirming Phrases to Use Often

• “You can always talk to me about anything.”
• “It’s okay to be different. That’s what makes the world awesome.”
• “There’s no ‘wrong’ way to be a person.”
• “Our family loves and respects all kinds of people.”

Quick Parent Pep Talk

You’re not going to mess this up by being kind and curious.
If you say something imperfect, that’s okay. What matters most is your child knowing you are a safe place, now and always.

Remember:

• You are not alone.
• You are learning, and that’s brave.
• You are shaping a more loving, inclusive future, starting right at home.

Great Tools for Confident Conversations

Books for Kids:

• “Pink Is for Boys” by Robb Pearlman
• “They She He Me: Free to Be!” by Maya and Matthew Gonzalez
• “My Shadow Is Pink” by Scott Stuart

Videos/Shows with Inclusive Themes:

• Bluey (gentle themes of acceptance)
• Sesame Street (episodes with diverse family structures)
• Steven Universe (for older kids, with strong LGBTQIA+ representation)

Final Thoughts

Your child doesn’t need perfection. They need presence, love, and someone who says, “Let’s figure this out together.” You’re doing beautifully. And just by reading this? You’ve already taken an incredible step!

References

https://www.mykidisgay.com/blog/having-the-talk

https://www.thesocialcreatures.org/thecreaturetimes/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-lgbtq-pride

https://www.getperspective.com.au/blog/how-to-talk-to-your-young-child-about-the-lgbtqia-community