Education and schooling | Transgender, non-binary and gender diverse children

coloured background and title of post on education and schooling for transgender kids
family at march for support transgender child
photo of Felicity St John

This blog post is a part of the resource – Supporting Transgender, Non-binary and Gender diverse Children & Young People, created by Felicity St John and Felicity’s collaborator and fellow Master of Sexology student Lindsay SmithFelicity, during a placement with Sex Ed Rescue in 2024.

Felicity St John has a Master of Sexology (Professional) with Distinction and a Bachelor of Human Services – Child and Family Studies. She currently works for an NGO as a supervisor of four practitioners, coaching and case managing families facing complex challenges. Felicity also offers professional development and consultancy. Her professional interest areas are sex education, puberty, LGBTQI+ people, child development, transgender/non-binary/gender-diverse people, relationship coaching, family coaching, and parenting psychoeducation. Felicity has a passion for supporting people to step into their capacity. When she’s not working Felicity loves to laugh, play, be with loves ones, rock climb, SUP board, explore nature, read, write, hike, cycle, swim, and laze about like a cat. You can contact Felicity via email.

We asked some transgender/non-binary/ gender-diverse (TGD) people and parents of TGD children, “What tips would you give schools for making school a more positive experience?”. Here are some of their responses:

‘More access to safe adults to check in. I recall a moment that I was pulled in by a teacher to start the conversation and I felt scared, so I said nothing. I remember walking out and telling myself if they tried again I would let them know what is going on but they didn’t try again.’ 
– Bodhi (28yo trans man, he/him)

‘Having gender-neutral spaces. Allowing trans children to present as their chosen gender and having a no-tolerance bullying policy. Education for all students around gender identity would be beneficial.’
 – Nina (trans woman, she/hers)

‘Be supportive of all students equally, provide relevant and needed education around sex and gender. Your personal opinions are never to be pushed upon kids especially if it is to deny a person’s identity.’ 
– Liam (35yo trans man, he/his)

‘Non-gender toilets and change rooms, a non-gender school uniform, allowing for a preferred name to appear on class rolls.’
– Stephanie (mother of an 18yo trans man, he/him)

‘Don’t judge or assume.’
– Rich (father of a 24yo non-binary child, they/them)

Access to education is a fundamental right for children. Many TGD people who were out or were assumed to be trans people in school have had their education disrupted, undermined, and even ended due to the negative treatment they experienced as trans people. 

Research has indicated that when compared to heterosexual cisgender peers, gender minority students experience or are exposed to more bullying, have less supportive adults within their school, and report lower levels of school connectedness. 

The largest United States survey of trans people reported that almost a quarter (22%) of trans women who were out as or are assumed to be trans people in school left school due to the intense harassment they experienced at school. On top of this, another 10% of trans women who were out or are assumed to be trans people in school were expelled or kicked out.

Some of the other school-based experiences TGD people have reported include:

  • Being sent home due to their gender expression, such as being deemed inappropriately dressed.
  • Having adults under-respond or ignore bullying.
  • Sexual harassment around being transgender.
  • Being physically assaulted.
  • Being verbally abused.
  • Hearing transphobic comments.
  • Feeling unsafe.
  • Feeling too unsafe to go to school sometimes.
  • Having their pronouns ignored or not used by staff and students. 
  • Having to wear a gender-based uniform that does not match their gender.
  • Not being able to access the bathroom, which matches their gender, sometimes due to legislation.
  • Not being able to access the sports team which matches their gender.
  • Not being able to participate in competitive sports in the category that matches their gender.
  • Not being allowed to have a hairstyle matching their chosen gender expression.
  • Not having access to relationship and sex education (RSE), which is inclusive of trans students.
  • Being required to see a staff member before using a gender-neutral or accessible toilet.
  • Being considered a disruption due to being trans.
  • Not being able to be themselves.
  • Having parents of other students (or other plaintiffs) sue their school/school district /board for demonstrating support for trans students, which includes using pronouns, names, toilets, locker rooms, and participating in a sports team that matches the student’s gender.
  • Have private information disclosed without consent, including forced outings of gender identities to parents or others, which may increase the risk of abuse for some trans youth.
  • Not having access to a curriculum that is inclusive of gender minorities and being in a school where it’s illegal for staff to talk about gender identity due to living in a state where this is legally banned or where there is a religious exemption in place.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We know from research that when schools do better at supporting gender minorities, gender minorities are more likely to be better off psychologically and academically. We know from research that having supportive adults in their school, experiencing less bullying at school, and having better school connectedness are associated with gender minorities having less suicidality, less alcohol use, less drug use, and fewer symptoms of depression.

In the United States, when compared to schools that didn’t have Gender and Sexualities Alliances/Gay Straight Alliances (GSAs) and didn’t have LGBTQ inclusive curricula to schools that did, LGBTQ students in schools with GSAs and LGBTQ inclusive curricula reported:

  • Hearing less transphobic comments.
  • Less face-to-face victimisation related to gender expression.
  • Less safety concern-related school absenteeism.
  • Not feeling as unsafe due to gender expression.
  • Experiencing greater school connectedness. 
  • Better mental health, including having been less likely to contemplate suicide.
  • Going better academically.

The last five points were also reported when LGBTQ students perceived more staff to be supportive of LGBTQ students compared to schools where there were fewer supportive teachers.

When schools had policies and/and or guidelines specifically supporting transgender/non-binary students, transgender and non-binary students reported they were: 

  • ‘Less likely to experience anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination in their school than their transgender and nonbinary peers.  
  • Less likely to be prevented from using their name or pronoun of choice in school (19.4% vs. 54.2%); 
  • Less likely to be prevented from using bathrooms aligned with their gender (25.6% vs. 59.3%); 
  • Less likely to be prevented from using locker rooms aligned with their gender (29.0% vs. 59.0%);
  • Less likely to be prevented from wearing clothes thought to be “inappropriate” based on gender (8.8% vs. 31.9%); 
  • Less likely to be prevented from playing on the school sports team that is consistent with their gender (18.5% vs 37.9%); 
  • Were less likely to miss school because of feeling unsafe (30.7% vs. 38.2% missed at least one day of school in the past month for safety reasons); 
  • Were more likely to feel a part of their school community (69.2% vs. 42.0% reported higher levels of school belonging)’.

(GLSEN, 2022, 16)

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How do I advocate for my child at school? This feels beyond my depth, and I’m afraid of making things worse for my child. It makes me nervous every time I think about doing it.

Firstly, celebrate that you care about your child enough to consider advocating at school. And take stock of the ways you’ve already been helping them feel supported in their gender identity. Make a list. I bet you’re already being their advocate, even if it’s just been in the home so far. Yes, there’s so much more ahead of your family, but please celebrate how far you’ve come since you became aware your child is transgender/non-binary/gender-diverse (TGD). It might be helpful to start by reflecting on what you (and your child if they are older) think you want the school to know, when you want them to know, and what you want to achieve by doing this.

If you live in a country where there are anti-trans laws in some areas that target trans people, it would be wise to check if you live in an area where the school can even legally talk to you about gender identity. In the United States, you can do this by checking out the Trans Legislation Tracker or the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) LGBTQ rights section. This can show you legislation that impacts other things in school, such as access to bathrooms, sports, change/locker rooms, and uniforms. Some resourced families move to access more supportive and safer schools and states. 5% of the 92,329 trans people surveyed in the 2022 United States Trans Survey reported moving interstate due to anti-trans state laws in their previous state.

The good news from a United States study was that 96.3% of LGBTQ students could identify a school staff member whom they perceived as a supportive LGBTQ ally. You could talk to your child about who they may already see as an ally in their school. Explore with your child if this is someone they already go to or would feel they could go to if they needed support. 

Transcend is a fantastic resource for parents. The link is below: A Guide for Parents & Carers Supporting Your Trans, Gender Diverse or Non-binary Child at School. Transcend also has a student support template, letter templates, and resources for educators about supporting trans students. In the United States, the ACLU has created a Know Your Rights document with the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) specifically for transgender and gender nonconforming students.

Knowledge about school and education department responsibilities is powerful. It can help you become a better advocate. Sometimes state education websites provide state-based information. This can help you understand what might already be available to your child at school to affirm their gender. Some information I’ve seen on state-based sites include legal rights of transgender students in that state, processes for when a student wants to use their name and pronouns, record keeping (reports, class rolls), uniform considerations, how privacy is managed, examples of student risk and support plans, information for school leaders (legal bulletins), information for teachers (anti-discrimination and other fact sheets and resources), and considerations for sports, overnight camps, health care, toilet facilities, locker/change rooms. The Transcend Education Resources website in Australia has links to relevant information for each state and territory.

It’s also helpful to understand what measures schools may take to address when things go wrong. For example, repeatedly having a transphobic comment made, experiencing sexual harassment, and where there is a legal right to have pronouns and names used, and this is ignored by school students or staff. Students and staff may have a code of conduct, bullying policy, and/or sexual harassment policy that speaks directly to this. It may be helpful to know what these say.

You can check if your child’s or prospective school has policies and guidelines covering TGD students. You can also see if a school website lets you know if there is a GSA. If you can’t see this online, you can always ring the school without identifying yourself. At the school level, you may be able to see and read an LGBTQ policy the school has, if they have one. Sometimes, this might outline the main contact person, such as a guidance counsellor. 

When you contact the school, remember you don’t need to do it alone if there is another safe, supportive adult in the know. Sometimes, you get a better response when you’re not alone. If your child is older, they may want to make this contact with you. Some older children and adolescents may prefer speaking to the relevant staff member with a friend or even without you. Remember, you’re still there on hand if they need you later. Writing down some of your questions or what you want to say before you ring is a good idea. If it helps you build confidence, practice saying it to your supportive, safe adult person, if you have one. If a school wants a meeting, bring your supportive, safe adult person if you have one and want them there. If there is a professional supporting your child with regard to their gender identity, this person may be useful to have present by phone. Take a notepad. Remember, schools are staffed by people with whom we build relationships over time.  

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Resources

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References

  • Convention on the Rights of the Child (1989) Treaty no.27531 by United Nations 1989.
  • Doe v. Madison Metropolitan School District by American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) 2023.
  • Education Resources by Transcend 2024.
  • Gender Minority Social Stress in Adolescence: Disparities in Adolescent Bullying and Substance Use by Gender Identity by Resiner et al., 2014. 
  • Guide for Parents and Carers by Transcend 2024.
  • Know your Rights: A Guide for Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming Students by the American Civil Liberties Union and Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network 2020.
  • LGBTQ Rights by American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).
  • Parents for Privacy v. Dallas School District No. 2 by American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) 2020.
  • Privacy Matters v. US Department of Education by American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) 2016.
  • Solidifying Students’ Rights to Gender Expression by Skinner-Thompson 2024.
  • Soule et al. v. CT Association of Schools et al., by American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) 2024.
  • The 2021 National School Climate Survey: The Experiences of LGBTQ+ Youth in Our Nation’s Schools by Kosciw et al., 2022.
  • The Impact of 2024 Anti-Transgender Legislation on Youth by Redfield et al., 2024.
  • Transgender Students and the First Amendment by Dara Purvis 2023. 
  • Trans Legislation Tracker by Trans Legislation Tracker 2024. 
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Felicity St John holds a Master of Sexology (Professional) with Distinction and a Bachelor of Human Services – Child and Family Studies. She supervises a team in an NGO, coaching and supporting families with complex needs, and offers professional development and consultancy. Her interests include sex education, puberty, LGBTQI+ inclusion, child development, and family coaching. Outside work, Felicity enjoys time with loved ones, outdoor adventures, and creative pursuits.
You can find Felicity at LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/felicity-st-john-726365256/