Effects of pornography: Why parents need to talk to kids

Uncover the hidden effects of pornography on children so that you are fully informed of the dangers your child faces when online.

There is a lot of information available about the possible effects of online pornography on kids.

So in this article, I have pulled together the latest research and expert opinion on the dangers your child faces when playing online.

So we’ll be looking at what porn is, why you need to talk to kids about it, how porn affects kids, and whether it is addictive (or not).

So, this is a pretty heavy blog post. Lots of stats and figures and research and expert opinion from around the world.

But I promise not to overload you with too much information!

I’ve found that too many stats and figures about porn can be overwhelming. It is so overwhelming that it can stop you from ever talking.

So I’ll provide you with enough information to understand why you need to talk to your child about porn. So that you fully understand why you need to talk to your child about porn.

If you want more evidence, you’ll find some links at the bottom of this article.

If you’d like to learn more about porn and internet safety, you can do that on my Pornography 101 page. If it’s porn you’re wanting to talk about then head over to this page about addressing exposure to inappropriate content.

You can find an infographic of this data here – CLICK HERE to view the Infographic – How Pornography Affects Children.

Let’s get started!

What is porn?

This information is important! Important as it provides you with an understanding of the current porn climate and how porn impacts children.

So you’ll be fully aware of the sort of porn that kids are watching, who is actually watching it, where and how they find it and how it affects them.

Most of you are here because you know that you need to talk to your child about porn.

You know that you want to educate your child to make smart decisions about porn. And that the only way to do that, is for YOU to start talking.

But before we look at why you need to be talking to your child about porn…

Let’s look at what porn actually is.

When I say the word ‘porn’…

What thoughts spring into your mind?

For some, it may be a bra advertisement. Or artwork depicting nudity. For others it may be videos or images depicting a sex act. Or cartoon illustrations of naked bodies and sex acts in a children’s book.

So…

What is porn to me, is not porn to you. And vice versa.

What we personally define as porn is heavily influenced by our values and beliefs.

A textbook definition of porn is…

Any sexual content that may sexually arouse someone or is seen as being sexual by the person looking at it.

Definitions like this aren’t helpful to children though, as they won’t recognise sexual arousal. (To them it’s just a weird feeling!)

And they are still learning what is (and isn’t) sexual.

Plus, what sexually arouses me, is going to be different to what sexually arouses you.

And what is seen as sexual by you, is going to be different to what I see as being sexual.

So…

If you want your child to be able to recognise and avoid porn, you need to be quite clear on what porn is in your family.

You need to name it for your child. So they actually recognise it when they see it (and know what you’re talking about).

It can take kids a bit of practice to recognise porn. They may not recognise it at first or they’ll report other things. Especially if they have yet to learn what sex is.

Which means we need to start off with a simple definition, and as our kids get older, we add in more details.

A reminder…

Throughout this resource, when I talk about pornography, I’ll be referring to

• Sexually explicit media that are primarily intended to sexually arouse the viewer
• I’ll also be referring to mainstream pornography as it is what kids are usually viewing i.e.
  • Information that is widely available on the internet
  • Easily accessible
  • Targets heterosexual male viewer or couples
  • Gay male porn
  • Diversity and commonality

Teaching your child to stay safe online? This 5-day email series helps you prep for one of the most important (and overlooked) parts: how to talk about porn.

What do you define as porn?

I have an activity that will help you to work out what your family’s definition of pornography is.

So when you are talking to your child about pornography, what are the different things that porn could be?

You’ll find a list of different things that you may (or may not) view as pornography. I want you to decide if they are pornography (or not).

If you have a partner, you can complete this activity separately or together. See which items you agree and/or disagree about. Discuss your answers and come to an agreement about what your family’s definition of porn will be.

Activity

📝 CLICK HERE to download this worksheet

1. Read through the items below, and think about which items YOU do (and don’t) think of as pornography

• Videos of people having sex (including oral, anal and/or vaginal intercourse).
• Videos of cartoon characters having sex (including oral, anal &/or vaginal intercourse).
• Movie or TV show with a sex scene (no visible genitals).
• Gaming with naked bodies, including the genitals.
• Gaming with people having sex (includes oral, anal and/or vaginal intercourse).
• Photos of people having sex (including oral, anal and/or vaginal intercourse).
• Book with illustrations of people having sex (includes oral, anal and/or vaginal intercourse).
• Graphic comic (illustrated) with characters having sex (includes oral, anal and/or vaginal intercourse).
• Magazines with photos of naked people, including the genitals.
• Magazines with photos of people having sex (including oral, anal and/or vaginal intercourse).
• A novel that includes a detailed sex scene.
• Medical textbooks with illustrations of the naked human body, including the genitals.
• Children’s book with illustrations of naked bodies.
• Children’s book with illustrations of people having vaginal intercourse.
• Lingerie or swimsuit advertisement/catalogue.
• An advertisement that shows partially dressed person/people in order to sell a product.
• Signage outside a sex toy shop, brothel, strip club, erotic dancing.
• Fine art that displays the naked human body.
• Naked people at a nudist beach.
• People at the beach or by the swimming pool in g-strings, skimpy swimwear, or speedos.
• Lyrics to a song.
• Selfie photo in underwear.
• Selfie photo with bare chest.
• Selfie photo naked, with or without genitals.

2. What will your family view as pornography?

Grab a piece of paper and write down all the things that your family will view as pornography.

Why do we need to talk to kids about porn?

So…

Why do we need to be talking to kids about porn?

We’re going to look at what the research tells us about porn.

Is it a problem? And how does it impact on children today? (This won’t be a deep dive into the research, more of an overview.)

Whilst reading through this, try to keep in mind that pornography is a controversial topic! With a lot of different opinions.

Plus many statements you read about porn are not based on scientific evidence.

And often the most ‘sensational’ results are always repeated.

This is information you need to be aware of. As it’ll remind you of why you are having these convos. But it will also give you insight into what kids are viewing, who is watching it (and when), where & how they find it, and how it affects them.

Most (not all) of what I share here is from some porn training I attended in June 2021 by Emily F. Rothman. Rothman is an academic and social researcher who has delved into the impact of pornography on youth and adults. She looks at pornography from a public health perspective that is not influenced by ethics, morals and personal beliefs.

Is porn a problem for adults? 

A recent paper in the American Journal of Public Health asked whether we should consider pornography a public health crisis.

• Reference.  Kimberly M. Nelson and Emily F. Rothman, 2020: Should Public Health Professionals Consider Pornography a Public Health Crisis? American Journal of Public Health 110, 151_153, https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2019.305498
  

Although pornography use has increased over time, the rise has been steady, even with the advent of the Internet.

• Reference. Perry SL, Schleifer C. Race and trends in pornography viewership, 1973–2016: examining the moderating roles of gender and religion. J Sex Res. 2019;56(1):62–73.
  

Pornography does not directly or imminently lead to death, infectious disease morbidity, property destruction, or population displacement. Research suggests that there may be adverse health consequences of pornography use for some, no substantial consequences for the majority, and positive effects for others.

• Reference. Grubbs JB, Wright PJ, Braden AL, Wilt JA, Kraus SW. Internet pornography use and sexual motivation: a systematic review and integration. Ann Int Commun Assoc. 2019;43(2):117–155.
  
  Peter J, Valkenburg PM. Adolescents and pornography: a review of 20 years of research. J Sex Res. 2016;53(4–5):509–531.
  

For example, for the minority predisposed to perpetrate sexual violence, viewing violent pornography may exacerbate risk. Additionally, individuals who frequently view pornography portraying risky behaviours (e.g., condomless sex) may be more likely to engage in them.

• Reference.  Grubbs JB, Wright PJ, Braden AL, Wilt JA, Kraus SW. Internet pornography use and sexual motivation: a systematic review and integration. Ann Int Commun Assoc. 2019;43(2):117–155.
  

Research on how pornography affects the cohesion and fidelity of relationships and sexual satisfaction is mixed, but the majority of users do not experience substantial problems.

• Reference.  Grubbs JB, Wright PJ, Braden AL, Wilt JA, Kraus SW. Internet pornography use and sexual motivation: a systematic review and integration. Ann Int Commun Assoc. 2019;43(2):117–155.
• Reference.  Peter J, Valkenburg PM. Adolescents and pornography: a review of 20 years of research. J Sex Res. 2016;53(4–5):509–531.
• Reference.  Perry SL. Pornography use and marital separation: evidence from two-wave panel data. Arch Sex Behav. 2018;47(6):1869–1880.
• Reference. Wright PJ, Steffen NJ, Sun C. Is the relationship between pornography consumption frequency and lower sexual satisfaction curvilinear? Results from England and Germany. J Sex Res. 2019;56(1):9–15.
  

Importantly, death, infection, property destruction, and population displacement are not resulting from pornography use. And for some, pornography use is associated with health-promoting behaviours, including increased intimacy, “safer” sexual behaviours (e.g., solo masturbation), and feelings of acceptance.

• Reference.  Grubbs JB, Wright PJ, Braden AL, Wilt JA, Kraus SW. Internet pornography use and sexual motivation: a systematic review and integration. Ann Int Commun Assoc. 2019;43(2):117–155.
• Reference.  Peter J, Valkenburg PM. Adolescents and pornography: a review of 20 years of research. J Sex Res. 2016;53(4–5):509–531.
• Reference.  Arrington-Sanders R, Harper GW, Morgan A, Ogunbajo A, Trent M, Fortenberry JD. The role of sexually explicit material in the sexual development of same-sex-attracted black adolescent males. Arch Sex Behav. 2015;44(3):597–608.
  

Although research suggests that pornography use likely influences some people negatively, it merits further research, pornography itself is not a crisis.

The movement to declare pornography a public health crisis is rooted in an ideology that is antithetical to many core values of public health promotion and is a political stunt, not reflective of best available evidence.

Is porn a problem for teenagers? 

So…

If porn isn’t that much of a problem for adults, what about adolescents?

Yes and no…

There is some research that suggests that porn may be contributing to some of the things that are causing unhealthy relationship behaviours in adolescents.

But porn is just one of the many different factors that are all contributing to those same problems. So we can’t pin all of the blame onto porn alone.

It is important to remember that if porn is to blame, that it is just one of many things to blame.

It is important to keep a balanced view!

Why do kids look at porn? 

The reasons for looking at porn differ, depending on whether puberty has started (or not).

Before puberty

1. Unintentional exposure.
   
2. Curiosity & learning about sex.
   
3. Unintentional exposure
   

• Might misspell a word in google, or type in a word that also has a sexual meaning.
• Random searching for something on the internet – YouTube, google, social media.
• Opening an email, clicking a link or on a pop up.
• Someone shows it to them.

1. Curiosity & learning about sex

• Kids are naturally curious.
• It’s how they learn about the world around them.
• They are also curious about sex (just like we were as kids).
• Want to know how to ‘do’ the different sex acts as well as learn about people’s bodies and get an idea of what sex is like.

After puberty, the reasons for looking at porn include:

• Curiosity
• Entertainment
• Sexual arousal or pleasure
• Boredom
• ‘For a laugh’
• To know what’s expected of them
• Friends are looking at it
• For information & ideas about sex
  
• Reference.  Growing up with porn: Insights from young New Zealanders (2020) https://www.classificationoffice.govt.nz/documents/34/Growing_up_with_porn.pdf
  

Porn helps some kids to cope

• Some watch porn as a form of relaxation, a way of dealing with stress or as a sleep aid.
• Life can get stressful for tweens and teens – bullying, peer group pressure, exams, etc
• Don’t know how to deal with it, and turn to masturbation and porn as a way to help them cope.
• It isn’t an ideal way to manage problems as it doesn’t solve the problem.

English research suggests that most kids find porn for the first time accidentally.

• Reference.  Martellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J.R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R. and Horvath, M.A.H. (2016) I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it. London: NSPCC https://www.researchgate.net/publication/304490439_I_wasn’t_sure_it_was_normal_to_watch_it_A_quantitative_and_qualitative_examination_of_the_impact_of_online_pornography_on_the_values_attitudes_beliefs_and_behaviours_of_children_and_young_people
  

Research from the UK found that 60% of 11 – 13 year olds found porn unintentionally.

And as they get older, the chances of them finding porn unintentionally decreased to 53% of 14 – 15 year olds and 46% of 16 – 17 year olds.

Unintentional exposure is more likely to happen with younger kids.

• Reference.
  New research commissioned by the BBFC into the impact of pornography on children demonstrates significant support for age-verification https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-as-seven-new-report-finds
  

This paper asked American 14–24 years old about what sources of information from the past year they considered to be the most helpful about how to have sex.

At least a third of 14-17 year olds said they would turn to their parents for information about sex, with porn being a much less popular source of information.

But when we get to the next age group, it changes. At least a quarter of 18-24 year olds said they would turn to porn for information about sex, with parents becoming a lot less important.

• Reference.  Rothman, E.F., Beckmeyer, J.J., Herbenick, D. et al. The Prevalence of Using Pornography for Information About How to Have Sex: Findings from a Nationally Representative Survey of U.S. Adolescents and Young Adults. Arch Sex Behav 50, 629–646 (2021). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33398696/

What type of porn are kids looking at? 

Parents worry about the type of porn their kids might be exposed to or viewing.

A particular fear is that kids will see violent porn.

It depends on whether they are watching free or paid porn.

Most kids will be watching free porn, which is usually legal (and much less violent and much more tamer).

There’s been over 40 different studies that have looked at the content of porn. Where researchers watch porn and document what they saw.

The most popular study is the one that found the highest rates of violence in pornography.

They looked at 50 of the most popular pornographic videos and found that 88% of them were physically aggressive (gagging, spanking, choking, hair pulling etc).

49% showed verbal aggression (mainly name calling) towards women.

They also found that 94% of the targets of aggression were women. 70% of the aggressors were men.

95% of targets responded with neutrality or pleasure.

• Reference.  Bridges AJ, Wosnitzer R, Scharrer E, Sun C, Liberman R. Aggression and sexual behavior in best -selling pornography videos: A content analysis update. Violence against women. 2010 Oct;16(10):1065 -85.
  

Alternatively, this study found only 6% of U.S. youth (aged 14 to 21 years) saw violent porn in the past year. (Data collected 2010-11 so it may have changed.)

• Reference.  Ybarra ML, Mitchell KJ. Prevalence rates of male and female sexual violence perpetrators in a national sample of adolescents. JAMA Pediatr. 2013 Dec;167(12):1125-34. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2013.2629. Erratum in: JAMA Pediatr. 2014 Jan;168(1):33. PMID: 24100409.
  

Here is another study that looked at whether porn was becoming more violent. And whether viewers preferred violent content.

The levels of aggression in porn are relatively unchanged over 8 years. Which suggests that porn is not becoming even more aggressive.

• Reference.  Eran Shor & Kimberly Seida (2018): “Harder and Harder”? Is Mainstream Pornography Becoming Increasingly Violent and Do Viewers Prefer Violent Content?, The Journal of Sex Research, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2018.1451476
  

A common fear is that people who watch violent porn, need to keep watching even more extreme material to feel the same effect.

This paper looked at a sample of male high school students and found that the preference for violent/coercive porn was found to decrease over time (not increase). i.e. They didn’t need to look at even more violent porn to feel satisfied.

BUT… this is just one study and the jury is still out!

• Reference.  Landripet I, Buško V, Štulhofer A. Testing the content progression thesis: A longitudinal assessment of pornography use and preference for coercive and violent content among male adolescents. Soc Sci Res. 2019 Jul;81:32-41. doi: 10.1016/j.ssresearch.2019.03.003. Epub 2019 Mar 7. PMID: 31130200.
  

Another common fear is about gender equality in porn.

This paper looked at 400 of the most popular internet videos from the most visited pornographic websites in February 2013.

Women are more likely to be objectified and to be submissive during sexual activities. No difference was found in power in regards to their social or professional status.

Researchers also found that except for spanking and gagging, that violence occurred rather infrequently.

Non-consensual sex was also relatively rare.

• Reference.  Marleen J. E. Klaassen & Jochen Peter (2015) Gender (In)equality in Internet Pornography: A Content Analysis of Popular Pornographic Internet Videos, The Journal of Sex Research, 52:7, 721 735, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2014.976781
  

Another common fear is that porn makes people more violent.

This paper looked at 22 studies from 7 different countries to understand whether porn consumption leads to sexually aggressive behaviour.

They found that pornography use was associated with higher rates of self-reported sexual aggression in both adolescents and adults.

However, it is not clear if pornography use was causing the aggression or if it was associated. There may be some other factor involved.

• Reference.   Wright, Paul & Tokunaga, Robert & Kraus, Ashley. (2015). A Meta-Analysis of Pornography Consumption and Actual Acts of Sexual Aggression in General Population Studies. Journal of Communication. 66. n/a -n/a. 10.1111/jcom.12201.
  

This paper looked at the effects of porn exposure on teenagers, particularly males, in particular, whether porn consumption may or may not lead to sexually aggressive outcomes.

The research suggests that particular concerns may be needed for those who are highly frequent consumers of pornography, those who seek out sexually violent content, and those who also have other risk factors.

It may be likely that pornography’s effects are important for some individuals but not for others and that they may prime behaviours only as they interact with certain other risk factors.

• Reference.  Malamuth, Neil & Huppin, Mark. (2005). Pornography and Teenagers: The Importance of Individual Differences. Adolescent medicine clinics. 16. 315-26, viii. 10.1016/j.admecli.2005.02.004.

Teaching your child to stay safe online? This 5-day email series helps you prep for one of the most important (and overlooked) parts: how to talk about porn.

Which kids are more likely to see porn? 

There are a lot of studies that have looked at working out which kids have seen pornography.

Research shows that there are many factors that affect this.

All these things can influence whether your child does or does not view porn.

Individual factors that may make it more likely that your child may view porn

• Male
• Early puberty
• Not being exclusively heterosexual
• Depression
• Low self-control
• Greater interest in sex
• Less sexual experience
• Anxious attachment
• Substance use
• ADHD
• Sensation seeking
• Less religious
• More digital skills
• More internet use

Family factors that may make it more likely that your child may view porn

• More parental control
• Coercive discipline practices by parents
• Child feels they may have low autonomy
• Child feels low commitment to family
• Poor family functioning
• Poor bond between child and caregiver

School factors that may make it more likely that your child may view porn

• Negative attitudes towards school

Peer factors that may make it more likely that your child may view porn

• Peer influence
• Delinquent teens
• Desire for popularity
• Has been bullied
• Friends tend to be younger

At what age are kids finding porn? 

We don’t have exact figures on how many kids have viewed sexually explicit material, but we do know that the older your child, the more likely it is that they will see porn.

A 2013 analysis of research from around the world, suggested that anywhere between 43% to 99% of children have seen porn.

With their first exposure often happening at around 10 to 11 years, increasing with age.

• Reference.  Horvath, Miranda & Alys, Llian & Massey, Kristina & Pina, Afroditi & Scally, Mia & Adler, Joanna. (2013). A Rapid Evidence Assessment on the Effects that Access and Exposure to Pornography has on Children and Young People. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/236902443_A_Rapid_Evidence_Assessment_on_the_Effects_that_Access_and_Exposure_to_Pornography_has_on_Children_and_Young_People
  

Australian research suggests that 69% of boys and 23% of girls have seen porn by the time they were 13 years old.

• Reference.  Lim, M.S.C.; Agius, P.A.; Carrotte, E.R.; Vella, A.M.; Hellard, M.E.; (2017). Young Australians’ use of pornography and associations with sexual risk behaviours; Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health; 41(4): 438 -443. DOI: 10.1111/1753-6405.12678 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28664609
  

United Kingdom research suggests that more than half of 11 to 13 year olds (51%) have seen porn, rising to 66% of 14 to 15 year olds.

Some children as young as 7 have been exposed to porn.

• Reference.  New research commissioned by the BBFC into the impact of pornography on children demonstrates significant support for age-verification https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-as-seven-new-report-finds

How much porn are kids watching? 

This research looked at changes in attitudes to porn and porn consumption in American adults over 40 years.

Found an increase in the amount of porn that youth are viewing. But it isn’t as great an increase as you would think! And it shows that it isn’t everybody!

But we do need to think about the frequency that porn is being viewed.

It is possible that people today are viewing more porn than they were in the past (thanks to the internet where porn can be streamed for free).

So the amount of porn they use may be more frequent today.

But the number of people who have seen porn won’t have changed as much.

• Reference.  Price J, Patterson R, Regnerus M, Walley J. How Much More XXX is Generation X Consuming? Evidence of Changing Attitudes and Behaviors Related to Pornography Since 1973. J Sex Res. 2016;53(1):12-20. doi:10.1080/00224499.2014.1003773. Epub 2015 Jul 13. PMID:26169262.
  

Another study found that 9% of youth had been exposed to a porn site in the last year. That number doubled over ten years.

This fits in with idea that kids today are more likely to have seen porn now, than in the past.

But it also suggests that a lot of youth may not be viewing or have seen porn.

• Reference.  Growing up With Media Ybarra et al 2018

 Where are kids finding porn? 

The majority of kids are finding porn online.

Either in the home or outside the home. Like at someone else’s house (friend, relative), from free WiFi (library, shopping centre, café) or on someone else’s device.

And the older kids get, the more likely they are to be online.

• In Australia, 79% of 5-8 year olds, 96% of 9-11 year olds and 98% of 12-14 years old are going online.
• In the United Kingdom, 39% of 3-4 year olds use the internet.
• In the United States, 60% of 3 to 7 year olds use the internet at home.
  
• Reference.  Quadara, A., El-Murr. A., & Latham, J. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. Melbourne, Australian Institute of Family Studies. Available at https://aifs.gov.au/research/research-snapshots/effects-pornography-children-and-young-people
• Research.  Child Trends. (2018). Home computer access and internet use. Retrieved from https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/pdf/coe_cch.pdf

How much porn are kids watching? 

Not surprisingly, research tells us that most parents underestimate how much porn their kids are actually watching.

• Reference.  Byrne, Sahara & Katz, Sherri & Lee, Theodore & Linz, Daniel & McIlrath, Mary. (2013). Peers, Predators, and Porn: Predicting Parental Underestimation of Children’s Risky Online Experiences. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication. 19. 1111/jcc4.12040.
  

Parents will often overestimate how much porn younger kids are watching, and underestimate how much porn older kids are watching.

Research suggests that nearly half of 9-16 year olds experience regular exposure to sexual images. Of these, 16% had seen images of someone having sex and 17% of someone’s genitals.

• Reference.  Quadara, A., El-Murr. A., & Latham, J. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. Melbourne, Australian Institute of Family Studies. Available at https://aifs.gov.au/research/research-snapshots/effects-pornography-children-and-young-people

How does porn affect kids?

Now, before we look at how porn may affect a child…

How would you respond to an unexpected exposure to porn?

Here’s some scenarios…

• You open up your email and there is a huge photo of an erect penis in a message.
• You type in a web address on your computer and it redirects to a porn site.
• You open up your phone and someone has sent you a picture of a person having sex with a dog. With the volume turned up on your phone (loud).
• You watch a news story and it shows pictures of a mass murder scene (with dead bodies).

So how do you think your child would respond? If they saw sexually explicit images?

Normal responses may include:

• Curiosity
• Revulsion
• Confusion
• Shame
• Guilt
• Arousal
• Compulsion

How they respond depends on…

• How old your child is.
• What they actually saw.
• Whether they understood what they saw.
• How often they saw it.

Every child reacts differently!

Let’s have a look at what the research and some of the worldwide leading experts have to say…

Emily F. Rothman has looked at the research and summarised the consequences of porn use for some adolescents. Rothman is an academic and social researcher who has delved into the impact of pornography on youth and adults. She looks at pornography from a public health perspective that is not influenced by ethics, morals and personal beliefs.

Consequences of porn use for some adolescents

• Negative attitudes towards women
• View women as sex objects
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Reduced self esteem
• Reduced well-being
• Performative rather than authentic sex
• Less satisfaction during sex
• Preoccupation with sex
• Earlier age of first sex
• Non-condom use
• Unhealthy dating relationships
• Sexual aggression
• Concern about one’s body not being good enough
  
• Reference.  Rothman, Emily F., ‘The Effects of Pornography on Youth’, Pornography and Public Health (New York, 2021; online edn, Oxford Academic, 23 Sept. 2021), https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780190075477.003.0008, accessed 13 May 2024.
  

Research with 1001 UK kids aged 11 to 16 years

• On first viewing pornography, kids report a mixture of emotions, including curiosity, shock and confusion.
• Shock & confusion lessens on repeated viewing, whether porn is deliberately sought out or accidentally viewed).
• Younger children were less likely to engage with online porn critically than older children and were more likely to report feeling disturbed by what they have seen.
  
• Reference.  “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it“ (2017) https://www.researchgate.net/publication/304490439_I_wasn’t_sure_it_was_normal_to_watch_it_A_quantitative_and_qualitative_examination_of_the_impact_of_online_pornography_on_the_values_attitudes_beliefs_and_behaviours_of_children_and_young_people
  

Dr Alan McKee is an academic who is an expert in child sexual development and a researcher into the impact of porn on sexual development.

Along with other experts from psychology, sexology, sociology and media studies — he spent three years reviewing over 2,000 pieces of academic research about the ways healthy — or unhealthy — sexual development is related to the consumption of pornography.

With the right support from parents, exposure to porn doesn’t need to cause damage. (This is where parents need to step up!)

They found that there’s a big difference between pre-pubescent and adolescent exposure to porn. With younger children, research shows that if they stumble across sexually explicit material online, seeing the material itself is less upsetting than their fear that you’ll be angry at them for seeing it.

With older children, they less often ‘stumble across’ porn. They’re more likely to seek it out for purposes of information – particularly if they aren’t getting the information they want anywhere else. Seeing it won’t damage them – but you want to make sure that they’re getting comprehensive sex education to give them a wider context.

• Reference.  Does pornography harm young people? Dr Alan Mckee 2010 https://www.academia.edu/4343965/Does_pornography_
  

Dr Jillian Roberts is a child psychologist and academic from Canada, who works with children who have been exposed to porn.

She says that…

Children cannot make sense of what they see when they view pornography, and those images bounce around in their psyches. A child who’s witnessed something traumatic reengages in the event over and over, trying to figure it out. This is often done via play. Children who are car crash victims often re-create what happened to them with toy cars, just as children who witness gun violence may pretend to shoot others in play. Their brains are trying to make sense of what they’ve seen so, just as adults run through a tragedy in their heads over and over again, children may re-enact scenarios. The replaying of the event can also occur in nightmares and flashbacks.

• Reference.  Kids, Sex & Screens: Raising Strong, resilient Children in the Sexualised Digital Age by Dr Jillian Roberts. 2019. Page 37.
  

So when a child sees porn, they may act it out with their dolls, or even worse, in play with another child.

Regardless of the type of images a child might see, kid’s often need help with processing their feelings and for setting values.

When this adult help doesn’t happen, we may start to see problematic sexual behaviour (i.e. kids acting out the sexual things they saw with other children).

Do kids experience sexual arousal?

• Children may experience sexual arousal to porn, but they won’t recognise it as this (sexual arousal).
• To them, it might be a sensation that they feel in their penis, vulva, or bottom. Or it might make them feel differently inside, or make them feel scared, embarrassed, sick, gross, weird, or even excited.
• Regardless, seeing porn will create some type of physical, mental and/or emotional reaction in children (and adults too).
• Whether or not you want to call this sexual arousal, is up to you!
  • Reference.  Campbell, C et al (2013). ‘Sexual Behaviour of Prepubertal Children’, Bromberg, D. & O’Donohue, W.T. (ed.) Daniel Bromberg in Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexuality: Developmental and Forensic Psychology. Elsevier. Academic Press: Oxford, pp.145-170.
    
    Toni Cavanagh Johnson (1999). Understanding your Child’s Sexual Behaviour: What’s Natural and Healthy. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.: Oakland
    

Kids may feel curiosity, revulsion, confusion, shame, guilt, arousal or compulsion when they first view porn.

• Reference.  Parenting One Click Ahead of Porn, Liz Walker
  

So it is really important that we know what our kids are up to. And that we are approachable.

But it isn’t all doom and gloom…

Only some kids are harmed by porn (not all)

• Whether a child is harmed by the pornography they see is heavily influenced by what they actually saw and how often they saw it. As well as whether conversations about porn have been happening in the home (or not).
• It is really only harmful for kids when parents don’t know it has happened. Which means kids have to process their feelings by themselves.
• More harmful for kids BEFORE puberty.

Teens ARE NOT as stupid as we are led to believe.

This article looks at how teens understand porn, and how education can change their outlook. It’s definitely worth reading.

• Reference.  What teenagers are learning from online porn. The New York Times Magazine. 2018.  https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/07/magazine/teenagers-learning-online-porn-literacy-sex-education.html
  

Justin Hancock, an English sex educator who works extensively with teens, believes that we should be giving young people more credit as many of them are already making smart decisions about porn.

• Reference.  https://bishtraining.com/does-porn-harmyoung-people/
  

Dan Savage (from Savage Lovecast) says that adults are worried that kids will see these things on porn and want to do them. He suggests that sex education needs to include porn now because the genie is out and can’t be stuffed back in. It’s not so much that the more extreme porn instils desires, as it instils anxiety.

These kids are convinced or afraid that things they’ve seen are expected of them – and they may not be interested in, or looking forward to it. It’s assuring and freeing for young people to be told that.

• Reference.  https://edition.cnn.com/2015/10/16/health/playboy-explicit-porn/index.html

Does porn poison the brain?

This is a contentious topic and researchers are still arguing about whether porn affects the brain (or not).

We still don’t understand enough about how people process visual images and whether it actually changes the brain.

So we just have to wait until we have enough scientific evidence.

Is porn addictive?

The debate about whether porn is addictive (or not) is still ongoing.

The opinion of experts is mixed, with many believing that porn is addictive whereas others say that it is not a behavioural disorder.

Pornography addiction is still not recognised in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

Whereas in 2019, the World Health Organisation included Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder in the ICD-11 (International Classification of Diseases), describing it as “ a persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviour.”

This is a compulsive use disorder (not addiction) and it is treated very differently to addictions.

Compulsive pornography use is not common.

Thought to be somewhere between 3 to 16% (as per Dr Emily F. Rothman).

It happens and some people can feel as if there porn use is out of control. But it is uncommon.

Most people who view porn DO NOT develop a compulsive use disorder.

AASECT position. The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counsellors and Therapists in their AASECT Position on Sexual Health, do not support sex or porn addiction as a mental health disorder.

They recognise that although people may experience significant physical, psychological, spiritual and sexual health consequences related to their sexual urges, thoughts or behaviours; that there is not enough evidence to support it.

But at the end of the day…

It really doesn’t matter, whether porn is addictive (or not).

Because there is enough evidence to suggest that pornography is harmful to children.

And regardless of whether porn is addictive (or not)…

We still need to be talking about it.

How else can our kids make smart decisions? If they’re not informed?

So yes…

Porn is a problem.

And yes…

Porn can harm kids.

But who says it has to be your kid?

Infographic

You can find an infographic of this data here – CLICK HERE to view the Infographic – How Pornography Affects Children.

Further information about the impact of pornography on children

• Culture Reframed
• Fight the New Drug
• The Light Project
• The Reward Foundation
• Your Brain on Porn

More porn & internet safety resources

Summary

I hope you haven’t found this glimpse into the current porn climate and its impact on kids too overwhelming.

Yes, porn is a serious problem for kids.

But it doesn’t have to be a problem for your child if they have a parent who is willing to talk to them about porn.

It is recognised that the best approach for parents is to encourage open communication, discussion, and critical thinking in their children while increasing their knowledge of the internet and social media.

Happy talking!
❤️ Cath

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