A child-friendly way to explain puberty for kids
You’re not alone if the thought of puberty for kids is something that makes you want to squirm.
Most of us parents do feel like squirming!
And most of us are unprepared for puberty as it creeps up quickly.
One day, you’ve got an easygoing kid, and before you know it, they have been visited by the puberty fairy!
So when it comes to puberty for kids, what do kids need to know, why do they need to know it and when should they know it by?
You can find more helpful resources to help you with the puberty talk in my Puberty 101 page!
Let’s get started!
So what do kids need to know about puberty? Simply, they need to know what is going to happen to them, why it is going to happen, when it will happen and how to care for their new body.
What will happen
Your child needs to know that a thing called puberty is going to happen to them. Puberty is when their body changes from being a kid’s body to an adult’s body. Their bodies change, as do their feelings and relationships with family and friends.
You can learn more in these blog posts about the first signs of puberty in boys (or bodies with testicles) and in girls (or bodies with ovaries).
Why puberty happens
Puberty happens because we all have to grow up one day! Puppies and kittens grow up, and so do humans!
A big part of growing up is starting the next generation, which means becoming fertile (becoming a parent). For kids with testicles, this means sperm and ejaculation. It is about ova (eggs) and menstrual periods for kids with ovaries.
Part of being fertile also means that they’ll start to have sexual thoughts and feelings. This means that they will now begin to see sex as something that they might just want to do someday. Instead of being something gross that their parents do!
Find practical tools to educate kids about puberty in the Sex Ed Shop
When puberty will start
Puberty will start when kids are 8 or 9, but you won’t see any physical signs until a few years later. For girls (or kids with ovaries), you can expect to start seeing physical changes when they are aged between 11 and 13. And for boys (or kids with testicles), it is a little bit later, usually sometime between the ages of 12 and 13. Plus or minus a few years!
Everyone experiences puberty differently, which means that some kids may be the first in their group of friends to change or the last.
So your child needs to know that puberty will happen when their body is ready for it to happen. That puberty happens to all kids, and it is completely normal.
How to care for their new body
As their body changes, your child will need to do so some new things to care for it. They might need to wash their hair more often because it now gets oily. They’ll need to wear deodorant so that they don’t smell too strongly of body odour. Children with ovaries will start to menstruate and will need to manage their periods. Children with testicles will start to have a lot more erections and may begin to have wet dreams (where they ejaculate during their sleep).
So there are a whole lot of new things about puberty for kids that they will need to learn to care for their new grown-up body.
Why kids need to know about puberty
Kids need to know about puberty because one day, it is going to happen to them.
Think about it for a moment. Wouldn’t you want to know if your body starts changing significantly? And preferably before things started to change?
So if you don’t want your child to be scared by the changes that are happening to them, then you need to let them know about puberty (before it starts). This way, they will be prepared, and they will see puberty as a normal thing that happens to all kids. And not something to be scared of or to be worried about!
When to start talking about puberty
So when should you start talking about puberty for kids? It depends on the age of your child.
For kids with testicles, you can start talking anytime from 9.
For kids with ovaries, it can be anytime from the age of 8.
And if your child is already starting to show some physical signs, like pubic or underarm hair, then you probably need to start talking now!
Aren’t they too young?
You can start talking about puberty for kids from a very young age. By talking when kids are younger, you are gently introducing the concept to them that one day their body will start to change from being a child’s body to an adult body.
Kids as young as three or four will have no trouble grasping this concept. They won’t understand why, but they will accept it as just another thing that will one day happen to them. They will see puberty as being a normal part of growing up instead of being something to be scared of.
There are many possible opportunities for talking about puberty for kids.
- Your three-year-old might walk into the bathroom when you’re changing your tampon or pad. They might ask why you’re bleeding down there.
- Your five-year-old might have noticed that their father has pubic hair and wants to know when they, too, will get hair down there.
- Your seven-year-old might be upset because their 13-year-old sister won’t have a bath with them anymore, and they want to know why.
These are all situations where you can provide your child with basic information to satisfy their curiosity. They don’t need a highly detailed answer, just an answer that satisfies their curiosity.
So your three-year-old walks into the bathroom when you’re changing your tampon or pad, and they ask why you’re bleeding down there. You might say,’ That is called my period, and it happens to most girls when they are grown up’.
You don’t need to worry about giving kids too much information. Anything they don’t understand will be forgotten because it just won’t make sense to them. Puberty for kids is processed in the same way that kids process any new information that they hear. If it is relevant, they may remember some of what they learnt. If it isn’t relevant, they will just forget about it.
This article talks more about how to work out if your child is ready to hear about sex.
Books (a parent’s secret weapon)
If you’re unsure about how to get started with talking about puberty, then buying a book about puberty for your child is a great way to start. You can find a comprehensive list of puberty books for kids here.
More puberty resources
Don’t forget that you can find more puberty resources in the Sex Ed Shop.
Like The Parents’ Guide to Puberty, which will help you to wrap your head around puberty and how to help your child as their body changes.
Looking for more puberty resources? Then visit my Puberty 101 page!
I hope that helps you out with explaining puberty to your child!
Happy talking!
❤️ Cath