Sex Education for Latter-day Saints Parents: Teaching Sexuality Through Faith, Values and Agency

This blog post is part of a 10-part series created by Nikki Kelly during her master’s internship with Sex Ed Rescue.

It is designed to help Latter-day Saints parents begin exploring sex education through faith, values, agency, and open conversation, so they can approach topics like bodies, sexuality, relationships, modesty, pornography, masturbation, consent, puberty, and the law of chastity with more confidence and less shame.

Why Sex Education Can Feel Complicated for LDS Parents

For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, conversations about sex and sexuality can feel complicated. Most parents I work with want their children to grow up with a healthy understanding of their bodies, relationships, and the law of chastity. They want their children to make informed choices, exercise agency, and feel confident coming to them with questions. Yet when it comes time to actually have those conversations, many parents find themselves wondering where to begin.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

Children Are Learning From Us, Even When We Aren’t Teaching

One thing I have learned through my work in sexuality education is that children are constantly learning from us, even when we aren’t intentionally teaching. They notice when we become uncomfortable hearing words like “penis” or “vulva.” They notice when a kissing scene appears on television and the channel is immediately changed without explanation. They notice when questions about sex are met with silence, nervous laughter, or avoidance.

Over time, children begin to draw conclusions from those moments. Often, the message they receive isn’t necessarily what we intended. Instead of learning that sexuality is sacred, they may learn that sexuality is uncomfortable. Instead of learning that questions are welcome, they may learn that some topics are too awkward to bring to Mom or Dad.

The goal of this 10-part series is to help change that.

A Values-Based Approach to Sex Education

Rather than teaching sexuality through fear, shame, or a list of rules, each episode explores sexuality through the lens of values. Throughout the series, we discuss topics such as body safety, safe touch, modesty, pornography, masturbation, consent, puberty, the law of chastity, and more! Most importantly, we explore the values underneath each of those topics and how those values can be taught in ways that strengthen faith, personal agency, and sexual integrity.

Although the episodes can be listened to in any order, I strongly recommend beginning with Episode 2: The Value of Sexuality. This episode provides the framework for the entire series and explains the values-based approach used throughout every lesson. Once you understand that foundation, the remaining episodes become much easier to place into context.

Teaching the Why Behind the Value

For example, rather than teaching modesty as a set of clothing rules, we can teach the values of self-respect, intentionality, and stewardship over our bodies. Rather than approaching pornography solely through fear, we can discuss integrity, agency, honesty, and healthy relationships. Rather than treating masturbation as a topic to avoid, we can teach privacy, body awareness, self-control, and respect for personal boundaries.

When children understand the “why” behind a value, they are often better equipped to navigate the “what” and “how” of real-life situations. My hope is that this framework helps parents teach sexuality in a way that is both faithful and shame-free.

Helpful Resources for LDS Parents

Many of the ideas discussed throughout this series are influenced by some incredible educators, therapists, researchers, and authors who have dedicated their careers to helping families navigate these conversations.

One of the first resources I recommend to LDS parents is That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity & Intimate Love by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife.. In addition to her work helping LDS couples better understand sexuality and desire, she offers valuable insights for parents seeking to raise sexually integrated and emotionally healthy children. Her parenting course, “How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex” , and her podcast, “Conversations With Dr Jennifer”, have influenced much of my thinking around these topics.

Another influential voice is Tammy Hill, a licensed marriage and family therapist, sex educator, and former BYU professor. Her books God Made Girls & Boys and Your Body and the Plan of Happiness provide excellent age-appropriate resources for children and teens, while her podcast, “Live Your Why” , offers practical guidance for parents.

I also frequently recommend The Christian Sex Educator, who is also an LDS member whose resources help parents from faith-based backgrounds approach sexuality conversations with confidence and clarity. Her website offers various parenting guidebooks and her Instagram offers support to parents as well.

One of my favorite books for LDS parents remains The Talk: What Your Kids Need to Hear From YOU About Sex by Dr. Sharon Maxwell. Although it was written years ago, the principles remain just as relevant today.

Another resource that has significantly influenced my work is For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health by Al Vernacchio. Al is a gay sexual health teacher at a religious private school and while not LDS-specific, the book beautifully demonstrates how sexuality can be taught through values, agency, and critical thinking rather than fear-based messaging. Many of the concepts align remarkably well with principles that LDS parents hope to instill in their children and can give incredible insite into how to approach every topic of sexuality with your teen. A review of the book can be found here.

This series also draws from the work of many other LDS coaches, educators, and therapists, including Christi Davis, Zach & Darcy Spafford, Daniel Burgess, Dr. Dean Busby, and others who have contributed valuable insights into healthy relationships, sexuality, agency, and family life.

You Don’t Need to Be a Sexuality Expert

My hope is that these ten episodes provide a starting point. Not because you’ll finish the series and have every answer, but because you’ll feel more prepared, more confident, and more comfortable having the conversations your children need most.

You do not need to be a sexuality expert to raise children who have a healthy relationship with sexuality. You simply need a willingness to learn, a commitment to your values, and an openness to keep the conversation going.

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