Let’s talk about sex education for autistic children and teens, as we get a lot of questions about it in my free Facebook sex education group for parents, that parent group.
It has taken me over a year to pull together everything for this list of sex education resources for autistic children and teens. I have spent countless hours on Saturday nights tracking down obscure resources and checking they weren’t dodgy (Aussie slang for dishonest or unreliable). I’ve even stayed up for live training that started at 11pm and finished at 3am (instead of watching the recording the next day). Just so I could get answers to my questions. And I’ve had numerous online conversations where I ‘picked the brains’ of parents and experts from Australia and throughout the world.
Most of the resources you will find here are freely available, and you won’t have to spend a penny to access them. But I have also included some online courses that aren’t free. I’ve included them as they are good products, and I think parents will find them helpful. I have also bought them all for myself, so they are vetted and approved personally by me.
So these are just some of the many resources that are out there. I am only sharing the resources that I think are the most helpful to support your autistic child.
I also have a resource list for parents about sexuality and disability. As well as lists for ADHD and sexuality and FASD and sexuality.
If you know of a helpful resource that isn’t included on this page, please contact me so I can include it.
Children’s books
You will find a list of all the puberty and sex education books for autistic and neurodivergent children. These are the books I’ve reviewed, and each book has a video where I show you inside the book.
Children (0 to 8)
I can’t find any sex education content created for younger autistic children. There are only a few children’s books for younger children, and not much else until puberty.
Tweens (9 to 13)
Puberty. The Puberty Plus Online Program from Bloom Wellbeing in Australia, is a self-paced, instantly accessible online program that is created by Occupational Therapists. It acknowledges that autistic children can find puberty challenging due to sensory issues, difficulty with change and transitions, or social norms and constructs. You can purchase it as a handbook, the online course or as a handbook/course bundle. The content is medically accurate, and it is almost like an online course version of the popular American Girl puberty books. So it is what I call ‘safe’ as it doesn’t talk about sex, masturbation, wet dreams, sperm, sexual feelings, crushes or sexual attraction. Plus, it isn’t inclusive for transgender or non-binary children. Other than that, it is a good resource if you only want to talk about puberty, as sometimes, including sex, can be very overwhelming for children. You will need to buy it (between $70 – 264 AUD in Dec 2023).
Puberty (girls only). Managing Puberty, Social Challenges, and (Almost) Everything is a straightforward and factual video guide that prepares autistic girls for puberty. In short, 3 to 10-minute videos, it teaches what puberty is, what happens to boys, periods, hygiene, emotional changes, social relationships, dating, sex and sexuality, staying safe, and getting ready for adult life. It was recorded in 2014 which means it isn’t inclusive, for example it assumes your daughter will be attracted to boys, but it does talk about sexual decision making. I managed to find a free copy to stream through my public library, but it is also sold as a DVD at Amazon and on Amazon Prime. So do an internet search for this – Managing Puberty, Social Challenges, and (Almost) Everything – and see what you can find! And do watch it first yourself before using it with your child.
Puberty (boys only). A Boy’s Puberty Guide is a straightforward and factual video guide that prepares autistic boys for puberty. In short 3 to 10-minute videos, it teaches what puberty is, what happens to girls, hygiene, erections, wet dreams and ejaculation, emotional changes, social relationships, dating, sex and sexuality, staying safe, and getting ready for adult life. It was recorded in 2014 which means it isn’t inclusive, for example it assumes your son will be attracted to girls, but it does talk about sexual decision making. I managed to find a free copy to stream through my public library, but it is also sold as a DVD at Amazon and on Amazon Prime. So do an internet search for this – The Puberty Video for Boys with Asperger Syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder – and see what you can find! And do watch it first yourself before using it with your child.
Teenagers (14+)
Consent, dating, puberty, sex & more. Kids Helpline is a free Australian online and phone counselling service for children between the ages of 5 to 25, including autistic kids. It is more than just a helpline, as it has an interactive website that is filled with lots of information. Their section for teens and young adults is very comprehensive and covers a lot of topics relevant to sexuality, including consent, sex, puberty, porn, sexting, and more.
LGBTQ+. From Ambitious about Autism in the UK, LGBTQ+ is an online resource with LGBTQ+ specific resources for autistic teens. You’ll find videos, written content and even visual stories
Puberty, Sex & Sexuality. From the Vanderbilt Kennedy Centre in the USA, this toolkit provides information about puberty, sex, and sexuality for autistic teens and adults. It’s inclusive and suitable for gender and sexually-diverse teens. There is a 16 page PDF (for your teen) and a 12 page PDF (for the adult supporting the autistic teen). Just in case you need it, here’s the link to the page that links to all of these resources.
Sex education. From the Organisation for Autism Research (OAR) in the USA, Sex-Ed for Advocates is an online resource that has been created for autistic teens aged 15+. They assume that most autistic teens haven’t received sex education and designed this resource as a place to start. Topics include public & private, puberty, healthy relationships, consent, dating, sexual orientation & gender identity, readiness for sex, sexual relationships, and online relationships & safety. You’ll find a mix of content to read, videos to watch and podcasts to listen to.
Moderated chat. Kids Helpline in Australia moderates My Circle, a free, private, safe and confidential social platform for 12 to 25 year olds. They now have a Circle just for neurodivergent kids, where they can talk to other ND kids about their experiences around autism, ADHD, sensory issues and more. Love, sex and relationships are discussed and it’s LGBTIQAPK+ friendly.
Sex, sexuality, dating & consent. Reachout in Australia, is a free mental health resource for young people. They don’t specifically create content for autistic teens, but they provide straightforward and direct information about sexual consent, romantic relationships, sex, sexuality and much more! It is worth a look.
Parent resources
Dating, sex and love. From Spectrum News in the USA, a blog post published in 2017 that does a deep dive into the challenges autistic young people face when navigating relationships and sex. It’s an interesting read and does give you insight into challenges your child may face with romantic relationships.
Growing up & adolescence. From the Kennedy Krieger Institute in the USA, a blog post on what to expect and how to help autistic teens during adolescence. This is an older post from 2013, but I think it is an interesting read as they talk about executive functioning, social and schooling demands, puberty, personal hygiene and friendships.
Intimacy and sex. Big Think invites Emily Nagoski (sex educator and author of Come as You Are) to discuss why we need to better understand the role of sex among neurodivergent people. Are the sexual needs of neurodivergent people different from those who are neurotypical? And if they are, how can we teach about it in a way that makes an impact? Nagoski believes it is time to ditch the one-size-fits-all approach to sex education that leaves neurodivergent people behind. Factors such as sensory sensitivities, social dynamics, and behavioural patterns likely shape their experiences, as well as that of their partners. More in-depth research will not only help sex educators provide more inclusive guidance but also help neurodivergent people and the people who love them have better sex.
LGBTQIA+. Autism Spectrum Australia has a list of LGBTQIA+ resources that parents may find helpful.
Pornography. From Porn is Not the Norm in Australia, an online course that is designed to support parents of autistic young people to understand the interactions between autism, sexuality, technology and pornography, and how they can support autistic young people to navigate respectful, consenting and safe sexuality and relationships. The parent and carer presentation is immediately available, and you will need to buy it ($100 AUD in Dec 2023). They also have some good information sheets and tip sheets to look at!
Problematic or harmful sexual behaviours. From raisingchildren.net.au in Australia, a webpage about problematic and harmful sexual behaviours in autistic children and teenagers. It is simple but informative and explains that most sexual behaviours are a typical and healthy part of development, but autistic kids might need help in understanding them. When behaviours are problematic, it is usually because of social, communication and sensory issues.
Puberty. Planet Puberty from Family Planning NSW in Australia, is an interactive website that aims to provide parents with the latest information, strategies and resources for supporting their autistic child through puberty. You’ll find blog posts, books, printables, flashcards, videos and websites. I love this modern resource!
Puberty. The National Autistic Society in the UK, have a nice simple sex education guide for parents of autistic kids. What I like about this guide (other than it’s simple and direct), is that it emphasises straightforward language that can’t be misunderstood. For example, don’t say their voice is breaking, as they may interpret that literally. It outlines the different topics to talk about and provides practical tips and examples on how to teach your child.
Puberty (girls only). From the Vanderbilt Kennedy Centre in the USA, and created for girls with neurodevelopmental disabilities (including autism). This free toolkit provides resources and tips to help parents talk to their daughters about puberty, including hygiene, appropriate public behaviours, hormones, mood swings and managing periods. There is a 20 page guide as well as a 29 page Appendix that contains social stories, activities and visuals. Just in case you need it, here’s the link to the page that links to all of these resources.
Puberty (boys only). From the Vanderbilt Kennedy Centre in the USA, and created for boys with neurodevelopmental disabilities (including autism). This free toolkit provides resources and tips to help parents talk to their sons about puberty, including hygiene, appropriate public behaviours, hormones, mood swings and managing erections and wet dreams. There is a 16 page guide as well as a 25 page Appendix that contains social stories, activities and visuals. Just in case you need it, here’s the link to the page that links to all of these resources.
Puberty. From SPARK in the USA, a free one hour webinar on preparing autistic children for puberty. It includes helping kids to understand and prepare for changes that will happen to their body, hygiene, public and private behaviours, relationships and safety. This was recorded in August 2022.
Puberty. From La Trobe University in Australia, a free guide to help parents recognise and manage the emotional, physical and social issues their autistic teen may face during puberty. It provides you with facts and explains how to use and adapt the information to your teen’s specific needs. I can’t find a publication date on it, but after looking at the references, I am guessing it was published in 2012. You can download a copy of Puberty: A Guide for Teenagers with Autism Spectrum Disorder and their Parents as a 56 page PDF.
Resources List. Joseph Falkner from Flexible Mind Therapy in the USA has the most extensive list of autistic resources I have ever seen. There is a list on Relationships, Sexuality, and Gender Identity for Individuals with ASD, another on Women and Girls with Autism, and there’s even a list on Parenting Individuals with Neurodiversities.
Resources List. Autism Spectrum News in the USA, has a list of sexuality teaching resources for youth with autism. It hasn’t been updated since 2017, but is shares resources for teaching self-care, relationship skills, body awareness and personal safety.
Sex education. From SPARK in the USA, a free one hour webinar on talking about the birds and bees with autistic children. It includes why sex ed is important, what we know about autism and sex, what to talk about, and strategies for talking. This was recorded in April 2018.
Sex education. From Sexual Health Victoria in Australia, an online course that will help parents get started with sex education for their autistic child. Topics include relationships, sexual & gender diversity, pornography, consent and how to answer questions and respond to sexual behaviour. Sexuality and Autism (for parents and carers of young people) is self-paced, and you will need to buy it ($97 AUD in Dec 2023).
Sexuality & relationships. Charting the Course is a 324 page family toolkit to help youth with autism navigate sexuality and relationships. Published in 2014 but it still has some useful information inside it.
Sex ed, puberty & more. From raisingchildren.net.au in Australia, a free trusted parenting resource that has a whole section dedicated to autism, including sexuality! It is all evidence-based and non-commercial as it is funded by the Australian Government. The easiest way to find relevant autism content is to go to the search page, set the filter for Autism and try these search terms: bodies, consent, puberty, periods, sexual development, sexuality, personal hygiene, harmful sexual behaviour, romantic relationships, emotional development, friends,
Social & personal relationships. An 80 minute YouTube video where Sarah Hendrickx, an autistic author, speaker and parent of autistic children from the UK, talks about social and personal relationships on the Autism Spectrum (recorded in May 2019). Sarah is an engaging speaker and talks about many of the challenges autistic people face with relationships. Do an Internet search for ‘Sarah Hendrickx’, and you will find lots of her presentations online.