3 signs your child is about to start their period

Wondering whether your child’s first period is getting close?

Maybe you’ve noticed breast development, pubic hair or vaginal discharge, and you’re wondering what these changes mean.

If I could invent a machine that predicted someone’s first period to the exact day (or even the exact week), I’d be a very rich person!
Unfortunately, no such machine exists.

But there are three puberty changes that can give us clues about when a first period might be approaching.

Knowing what to look for can help you work out when to start preparing your child, even though you won’t know the exact date.

So, let’s look at the three signs and what they might mean.

When do first periods usually start?

Most children get their first period between the ages of 9 and 15, with the average age being around 12.

But every child develops at their own pace.

Some kids start their periods when they’re 9 or 10. Others might be 14 or 15.

And being the same age as another child doesn’t mean they’ll be at the same stage of puberty.

Age gives us a general guide, but the changes happening in your child’s body can tell us more about how puberty is progressing.

You can learn more about these changes in my article about the stages of puberty in girls.

What are the 3 signs your child’s first period might be approaching?

There are three changes worth looking out for:

1. Breast development
2. Pubic or underarm hair
3. Vaginal discharge

These changes don’t necessarily happen in the same order for every child. And your child doesn’t have to notice all three before their first period begins.

They’re clues, not a countdown.

1. Breast development

Breast development is usually one of the earliest visible signs that oestrogen-driven puberty has started.

The first change is often a small, firm lump beneath one or both nipples. These are called breast buds.

They can feel tender, and it’s quite common for one breast to start developing before the other.

First periods often begin around two years after breast development starts, although it can take longer – sometimes up to four years.

Now, this doesn’t mean your child needs to have fully developed breasts before their first period.

They might still have relatively small breasts, or they might already be wearing a bra.

And some kids aren’t particularly interested in bras anyway!

The important clue is when breast development began, rather than what your child’s breasts look like now.

2. Pubic or underarm hair

Another sign that puberty is progressing is the growth of pubic and underarm hair.

Pubic hair grows around the vulva, which is the external genital area. Underarm hair grows in the armpits.

At first, the hair might be quite fine and sparse. Over time, it usually becomes thicker and darker.

Some children develop pubic hair before underarm hair. Others notice these changes at different stages.

Unlike breast development, hair growth doesn’t give us a reliable timeframe for when a first period will happen.

Your child might have pubic hair for quite a while before menstruation begins.

But it’s another clue that their body is changing during puberty.

3. Vaginal discharge

Vaginal discharge is one of the signs that parents and kids sometimes know the least about.

And it’s something I’d encourage you to explain before your child starts noticing it.

Vaginal discharge is fluid produced by the vagina and cervix (the lower part of the uterus that opens into the vagina).

It helps keep the vagina clean and healthy.

During puberty, increasing hormone levels can lead to more discharge.

Your child might notice:

• Clear or whitish fluid in their underwear.
• White or pale yellow marks when the discharge dries.
• Their underwear feeling slightly damp.

Some kids worry when this first happens.
They might think they’ve leaked urine or that something is wrong with their body.

So it’s useful to explain what discharge is and why it happens.

You could say:
“Sometimes you might notice some clear or white fluid in your underwear. That’s called vaginal discharge. It’s something your vagina makes to help keep itself healthy. It’s also one of the changes that can happen during puberty.”

Vaginal discharge often begins several months before the first period, although the timing varies.

Some children will notice it for longer.

And while discharge can change in amount and appearance, it won’t tell you the exact date their first period will arrive.

Discharge that causes itching, pain or an unpleasant smell is worth discussing with your family doctor.

Are there any other signs a first period might be coming?

There are a few other changes your child might notice as puberty progresses.

For example:

• A growth spurt.
• Changes in body shape.
• Oily skin or pimples.
• More body odour.
• Occasional tummy cramps or backache.
• Feeling more tired or experiencing changes in mood.

Some children experience cramps, bloating or other symptoms before their first period.
Others have no noticeable symptoms at all.

So while these changes can give you a little more information about what’s happening during puberty, they’re not reliable ways to predict when menstruation will begin.

And remember, a first period doesn’t always announce itself with cramps or other warning signs.

Sometimes the first thing a child notices is a small red or brown mark in their underwear.

Will my child start their period at the same age I did?

Possibly, but it’s not something you can rely on.

Genetics can influence when puberty begins and when someone gets their first period.

So if you started your periods earlier or later than many of your friends, your child might follow a similar pattern.

But they might not!

Other factors, including health, nutrition, exercise and individual development, can also influence puberty timing.

I’ve heard from plenty of parents whose children started their periods much earlier or later than they did.

So your own first-period experience can be an interesting clue, but it isn’t a prediction.

Is your child getting close to their first period?

So, you’ve noticed some of these changes in your child’s body.

But what do they actually mean for your child?

I’ve created a free First Period Quiz for Parents to help you look at the changes you’ve noticed and get a better idea of whether their first period might still be some time away or could be getting closer.

It looks at your child’s age and puberty changes, then gives you a practical next step based on what you’ve noticed.

The quiz only takes about two minutes.

You can complete it on your own or do it together with your child.

And doing it together can be a useful way to start talking about periods.

Take the First Period Quiz →

When my daughter took the quiz

When I first created this quiz, my teenage daughter spotted it on my computer and decided to complete it herself.

She was 13 at the time and hadn’t had her first period yet.

Her result suggested that her first period could be getting closer.

And her response?

She finally started carrying the DIY period kit we’d made in her schoolbag!

Instead of leaving it on her bedroom floor. 😅

We’d already talked about periods and made the kit together.

But seeing the result gave her a reason to actually start taking it to school.

And that’s what I find useful about understanding the signs.

You still won’t know the exact day your child’s first period will arrive.

But you can use what you know about their development to decide what preparation might be useful now.

How to prepare your child for their first period

Knowing that a first period might be approaching is helpful.

But your child also needs to know what to expect and what to do when it happens.

And you don’t need to wait until their period seems close to start teaching them.

There are a few practical things you can do together.

Explain what a period is

Before their first period, make sure your child understands what will happen to their body.

You could say:
“A period is when blood and tissue from inside the uterus leaves the body through the vagina. It usually happens about once a month once periods have started. It’s one of the changes that can happen during puberty.”

You can add more information about the menstrual cycle as your child grows and asks questions.

For now, make sure they know what a period is, where the blood comes from and that it isn’t bleeding from an injury.

Show them how to use period products

For kids who are just starting their periods, I usually recommend wearing a pad with period pants as backup protection.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

First, pads make it easier for your child to see how much blood they’re losing. This helps them start recognising the difference between lighter and heavier bleeding days, and when their pad needs changing.

Period pants, on the other hand, often have a black absorbent lining. This can make it harder to see how much blood they’ve absorbed or whether they’re getting full.

And when your child is still learning how to manage periods, they won’t necessarily know which days they’ll bleed more heavily.

That’s where wearing period pants with a pad can help.

The pad absorbs the period blood, while the period pants provide backup protection if the pad leaks, moves or your child forgets to change it.

Period pants can also be worn on their own, but I prefer starting with both while kids are learning what works for their body.

Before their first period, get the products out and let your child practise.

Show them how to open a pad, where it sticks inside their underwear, how the wings fold underneath and how to remove and dispose of it.

Let them try on their period pants too, so they know how they feel.

And explain that pads need changing regularly, usually every three to four hours, or sooner if they’re wet or full.

It’s much easier to learn these things before you’re standing in a school toilet wondering what to do!

Make a DIY period kit for school

A small period kit can be useful if your child’s first period starts while they’re away from home.

You don’t need anything elaborate.

A few pads or period pants, spare underwear and a small bag for stained clothing can be enough to get started.

I’ve written a step-by-step guide to making a DIY period kit for school, including what to pack and how to choose a bag.

It’s something you can put together with your child.

And it’s another opportunity to talk about what they might need when their first period arrives.

Make a plan for when you’re not there

A first period can start at home, at school, during sport or while your child is staying somewhere else.

So it’s useful to ask:
“If your period started at school tomorrow, what would you do?”

Then work through the practical details together.

Where are the period supplies? Who could they ask for help? What if blood gets onto their clothes? How could they contact you?

Your child doesn’t need to know what to do in every possible situation.

They just need a few clear steps and to know where they can get help.

Want some help preparing your child?

I’ve created a free First Period Guide for parents who want to help their child prepare before their first period arrives.

It walks you through five practical steps, including what to explain, what to practise and how to make a plan for when your child is away from home.

There’s also a checklist to help you see what’s already covered and what to do next.

Get your free First Period Guide 👇

What if your child’s first period still hasn’t started?

There’s a wide range of ages when first periods begin.

But there are times when it’s worth checking with your family doctor.

The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne recommends seeking medical advice if your child:

• Hasn’t started their period by age 15.
• Hasn’t shown signs of puberty by age 13.
• Has unusually early puberty changes.

If you’re worried about how your child’s puberty is progressing, you can also ask for advice earlier.

You don’t need to wait until a particular birthday to raise a concern.

A final thought about predicting the first period

I still haven’t invented that period-predicting machine!

And unfortunately, no quiz, checklist or collection of puberty signs can tell you the exact day your child’s first period will start.

But we can look at the changes happening in their body and use that information to prepare.

Your child doesn’t need to know exactly when their first period will arrive.

They need to know what it is, what it might look like and what to do when it happens.

And that preparation can happen through a few small conversations, some practice and a simple plan.

For more information about first periods, products and preparation, visit my Period Talk page.

Happy talking!
❤️ Cath

References

• Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne – Periods. Information about first-period timing, signs of menstruation, puberty and when to seek medical advice.
• Raising Children Network – Physical changes in puberty. Information about breast development, pubic hair, vaginal discharge and the timing of first periods.
• Raising Children Network – Periods. Guidance about preparing children for menstruation, recognising changes and using period products.
• NHS – Starting your periods. Information about first-period timing, signs and practical preparation.

This article provides general educational information and does not replace advice from a healthcare professional.