3 signs your daughter is about to start her period
If I could invent a machine that could predict the timing of someone’s first period to the exact day (even to the exact week), I would be a rich person.
And based on how many emails I receive each week from worried tweens, it is something they really do want to know.
But back to that period-predicting machine, it is impossible to accurately predict when a first period will happen. Predicting the first period isn’t easy, as it is different for every person with ovaries.
But there are three things that have to happen before periods will start.
You’ll find more information about periods on my Period Talk page, and everything else about puberty on my Puberty 101 page.
Let’s get started!
A NOTE ABOUT SEX AND GENDER. Sex and gender exist on spectrums. This page will use the term ‘female’ to refer to the sex assigned at birth. It will use the term ‘girl’ to refer to children who are cisgender i.e. a child who was born with ovaries and identifies as a girl. The information will also be relevant for nonbinary children born with ovaries. The information will not be relevant for transgender girls as gonads drive puberty, and their gonads differ. Click here to learn more about sex and gender.
Signs your daughter is about to start their period
It may help your child to know that every female is different. Some kids will start their period earlier than other kids. And some kids will start their periods later. Some kids may be as young as nine or 10. Whereas some maybe 14 or 15. The average age for a first period is 12 or 13.
So as you can see there is a wide range of ages, with the first period usually happening anywhere between the ages of 9 to 15 years of age.
Sometimes, we can predict that a child’s first period will happen around the same age that it did for their birth mother (plus or minus a year). So if had your first period at the age of 11, you could then expect your child to be starting their period earlier than other kids, just like you. But this isn’t 100% accurate, as I hear from many parents whose child started their periods much earlier or later than they did. Plus, research tells us that the average age of puberty in females today is much earlier than it was for previous generations. There are many theories as to why puberty is occurring at earlier ages, attributing it to a wide variety of genetic, hormonal, nutritional and environmental factors. You can learn more in this article about the stages of puberty in girls.
There are three changes that have to happen before your child has her first period. Once these three changes have started, you will finally have the first signs that they’re close to starting menstruation. Just remember, though, that every child is different, and their period will start when their body is ready for it. And the changes don’t necessarily have to happen in this order.
1. Breasts
Your child will have been developing breasts for about two years. Now, this doesn’t mean that their breasts will be fully developed and adult-like. It just means that they will have had something growing on their chest for about 2 years. So they may still be relatively flat-chested or they may already be wearing a bra. Remember, every child is different!
2. Pubic or underarm hair
Your child will have had some pubic and/or underarm hair for at least the last four to six months. Now, again, this doesn’t mean that they will have a full crop of adult-like hair. It just means that they will have started to grow hair of some sort, in the pubic area or under their arms.
3. Vaginal discharge
Your child will have been having some vaginal discharge for the last three months. Some children can have this up to two to three years before their first period. In this case, if it starts to get heavier and more frequent, then that is a sign that their period is on its way, sometime in the next 3 to 6 to 12 months! You can’t get much more accurate than that!
Vaginal discharge can be a little tricky to explain to kids. They may notice a white or yellow stain on their underwear or start commenting about feeling wet around their vulval area. Some kids worry when this first happens. They think that they may have wet themselves, or that there is something wrong with them. It is important for your child to know that they are normal and that their vaginal discharge will change during their menstrual cycle. Sometimes it will be lighter or heavier and they need to get used to finding patches of white or yellow on their underwear!
Other signs
Your child may also get premenstrual symptoms beforehand, like tummy cramps, backache, headaches, feeling bloated, slight nausea, tiredness and possibly even feel irritable, sad, and/or tense.
QUIZ: When will I start my first period?
I’ve created a Quiz to help to look for signs your child is about to start their period. Ideally, you can complete this together with your child, as it provides a wonderful opportunity to start talking with her about periods. You can find the ‘When will I start my first period?’ Quiz here, with extra info and videos to explain the answers.
My teenage daughter spotted this quiz on my computer screen when I created it, and completed it. She was 13 at the time, and hadn’t had her first period. The quiz result told her that her first period was likely to happen in the next few months (maybe sooner, or maybe later). Her response to that was to start carrying her DIY period kit in her schoolbag, just in case her period started whilst at school (instead of leaving it on her bedroom floor).
So please do read my blog post on how to make up your own DIY period kit. It’s a great activity to do together, and provides the perfect opportunity to talk more about periods.
More period resources
Don’t forget that you can find more period and puberty resources in the Sex Ed Shop.
Like The Parents’ Guide to Puberty, which will help you to wrap your head around puberty and how to help your child as their body changes.
I hope that helps you work out whether your child’s first period is on its way (or not).
Happy talking!
❤️ Cath
Find practical tools to educate kids about periods and puberty in the Sex Ed Shop
References
- A Blessing Not a Curse: A Mother-Daughter Guide to the Transition from Child to Woman by Jane Bennett. 2002. Sally Milner Publishing Pty Ltd. Bowral.
- Adolescence and Puberty. Edited by John Bancroft and June Machover Reinisch. 1990. Oxford University Press. New York.
- Gender Differences at Puberty. Edited by Chris Haywood. 2003. Cambridge University Press. Cambridge.
- Handbook of Child and Adolescent Sexuality: Developmental and Forensic Psychology. Edited by Daniel S. Bromberg and William T. O’Donohue. 2013. Elsevier. Academic Press. Oxford.
- Puberty: Physiology and Abnormalities by Philip Kumanov and Ashok Agarwal. 2016. Springer International Publishing. Switzerland.