Under Our Clothes: Our First Talk About Our Bodies by Dr Jillian Roberts

Hey there! I’m Cath Hak, and welcome to Sex Ed Rescue. On my YouTube channel and website, I tackle all things related to sex education, including book reviews and tips for parents on how to talk to their kids about sex. Today, I want to share my thoughts on a book I recently bought called Under Our Clothes: Our First Talk About Our Bodies by Dr. Jillian Roberts, a Canadian psychologist.

When I first picked up this book, I expected it to be all about naming body parts and private areas. But to my surprise, there are no explicit illustrations of what a penis or vulva looks like. Instead, it covers a wide range of topics and seems more focused on body safety. It’s geared towards slightly older children, around seven to ten years old, depending on their comfort level with books that have pictures.

What I really appreciate about this book is that it delves into important subjects like consent, modesty, privacy, and body discomfort. It starts off by discussing how different people have varying levels of comfort with being naked and emphasizes the importance of doing what feels right for you. It even addresses the question of why there are separate change areas for boys and girls, touching on the influence of sex, religion, and culture. It briefly mentions gender-neutral restrooms but doesn’t go into detail about intersex children.

The book also explores why certain parts of our bodies need to be covered and introduces the concept of boundaries. It cleverly uses the idea of a personal bubble to explain this concept. It addresses the question of whether it’s ever okay for someone to look at or touch your private parts, explaining that sometimes parents or doctors may need to, but always with a valid reason. It even touches on breastfeeding, which is great to see included.

One of the most important topics covered in the book is consent. It emphasizes that you are the boss of your own body and have the right to say no if someone touches a part of your body that isn’t private and makes you uncomfortable. It also addresses the natural changes that come with puberty and the feelings of self-consciousness and body image issues that can arise. It discusses self-esteem, body shaming, and the unrealistic standards portrayed in the media.

Throughout the book, there are relatable scenarios and questions that many parents ask. It encourages positive self-talk and reminds readers to focus on the good rather than the bad. It even offers advice on how to support a friend who may be struggling with their self-esteem.

In the end, Under Our Clothes is a fantastic resource for older children who may be seeking answers to their questions about their bodies and navigating the complexities of body safety and self-esteem. Dr. Jillian Roberts provides a helpful list of additional resources and books at the back of the book, making it a valuable tool for parents and caregivers.

So, if you’re looking for a book that tackles important topics in a relatable and supportive way, I highly recommend giving Under Our Clothes a read. It’s a gem that fills a gap in the market for older children, and I think it does a beautiful job of addressing these important conversations.