Your Intersex Child: How to Talk, Support and Affirm
To put it simply, Intersex people have sex characteristics (both internal and external) that don’t fit the medical or social standards for a “male” and “female” body. Stigma, discrimination and stigma can come along with intersex variations, which may it extremely important to talk about. Despite this, it isn’t often spoken about! Many questions may arise within you as you read this information, you may know a lot, limited or absolutely nothing about Intersex variations so I am here to answer any questions you may have! Questions like:
- What is intersex?
- What does this mean for my child?
- What does this mean for my child’s sexual experiences? Will they have sexual experiences?
- When do I need to talk to my child about their intersex variation?
- How do I talk to my child about sex and intersex?
Parenting can be full of big, overwhelming conversations- especially regarding an intersex variation. Navigating conversations around emotions, relationships, identity and sex can seem like a confronting topic. You may feel unsure about how and when to begin these conversations, maybe you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, and perhaps you are still learning yourself. This is OKAY! What matters the most is that your child knows they are safe, accepted and loved- with your support. If this sounds like yourself, or you are just a parent looking to educate your child about ALL sex variations, this blog post should be helpful to you!
This series of blog posts was written by Brianna Bitt whilst completing a clinical placement at Sex Ed Rescue.
Brianna Bitt has a Master of Sexology and holds a background in Psychology. She works in the disability sector and is passionate about creating inclusive, accessible, and empowering sexuality education for people of all abilities. As part of her practicum placement in 2025, she has contributed to Sex Ed Rescue, exploring topics that matter deeply to the communities she supports.
You can find Brianna at LinkedIn.
You’ll find more information about sex ed when kids have a disability, on our disability resource page.
Let’s get started!
How do I talk to my child about Intersex variations?
The key is to keep it simple, honest and affirming. Reassuring your child that having an intersex variation is not a disease or disability, it is a natural difference that can happen among humans. From a young age, let your child know their body is okay exactly as it is. Normalize difference and avoid framing their anatomy as “wrong” or “unusual”. Your acceptance for your child will lay the foundation for open, honest conversations as they grow.
For Intersex people, both children and adults, the concepts of consent and bodily autonomy aren’t just important- they are ESSENTIAL. Many intersex individuals have faced early medical interventions, such as surgery, to “correct” their variation even if it hasn’t caused them any issues. Often, this is done without fully informed consent and understanding. That’s why helping your child understand they are the ultimate authority over their body is a lifelong gift.
Find practical tools to educate kids about sex education in the Sex Ed Shop
References and Resources
InterAction- Intersex Human Rights Australia (IHRA): A national advocacy and information organisation by and for people with intersex variations. Offers detailed, accessible information for parents, educators and medical professionals.
Intersex Peer Support Australia (IPSA): A peer support, information and advocacy group for people born with variations in sex characteristics. IPSA aims to tackle the stigma and misconceptions that surround intersex variations.
interAct- Advocates for Intersex Youth: Although this is a US-based organisation, it has great information on legal advocacy and educational resources for intersex youth. Especially helpful for learning about bodily autonomy and informed consent.
The University of Melbourne – Intersex Awareness & Resources: The University of Melbourne has created a web page with a collection of resources, podcasts and videos to raise awareness of the diversity of the intersex community.
Darlington Statement: The Darlington statement is a joint statement between Australian and New Zealand organisations that sets out the priorities and needs of people living with a sex characteristic variation. The Darlington Statement initiated the Yellow Tick program, a community led initiative that provides education and inclusive education to programs, clients and staff within a workplace. The Yellow Tick has some great resources (free to download) about affirming and respecting people who are intersex.
InterLink: InterLink is a mental health and well-being service for people who are intersex and their families. They offer short-term, one-on-one or group counselling, and are available for all ages!