The most common sex ed mistakes made by parents

Are you making some of the most common mistakes made by parents in regards to talking with your kids about love, sex and relationships?

Find out what the most common mistakes are and how to not make them.

Because they are really easy to make!

And we all make them. Myself included!

You’ll find more information about sex education in my Sex Education 101 page.

Let’s get started!

Here are some of the most common mistakes made by parents regarding sex education.

1. Assuming that it’s only about sex

As a parent, sex education isn’t really about sex or sexual intercourse. When your kids hit puberty and become teens, you might talk with them more about love, sex and relationships, but you won’t be the one teaching them how to do it! Instead, you’ll be sharing your thoughts on what sexual behaviours and attitudes are okay (and not okay) in your family.

So sex education is a lot more than just teaching your kids about what sex is. As parents, we usually want our kids to grow up and live happy, content, and meaningful lives. And maybe to even meet ‘Mr or Mrs Right’, and to start a family of their own. But if we want them to have a healthy relationship and stay happy with their partner, then we need to ensure that they have enough knowledge and communication skills for that to happen.

And that is where we step in with sex education. As a parent, sex education is about many things, but the end goal is that you give your kids the skills to be able to make strong friendships and to have healthy, loving relationships.

This means that we might talk about a wide range of topics, like consent, body safety, where babies come from, recognising their feelings, and much more. You can find more information about what kids could know about in this article on Hey Sigmund.

So one of the most common mistakes made by parents is assuming that sex education is just about sex.

2. Thinking it is just ‘one talk’

The majority of parents don’t think about sex education until puberty.  For most of us, it was the first time that our parents talked to us about sex. And usually, it was just the one awkward talk. Puberty also makes us start thinking about sex education when we start to spot the first signs of puberty in our son or daughter.  We might see those first puberty hairs, or the budding of breasts, or get a whiff of body odour as they come home from school or get asked about what this thing (pimple)  on their face is. We realise that they are growing up and that we need to talk to them about the changes that are coming their way.

So today, we know that ‘one talk’ isn’t enough. Can you imagine your parents talking to you about how to drive a car when you were ten years old and then when you were 16, just handing you the keys and letting you drive? Yeah, right! Being a safe driver happens over many conversations you have over a long time. So you can’t possibly expect your child to learn everything they need to know about sex in one conversation and then remember it all many years later!

Today, sex education is about lots of small, frequent conversations that are repeated.

So, one of the most common mistakes made by parents is assuming that sex education is just ‘one talk’ that happens at puberty.

3. Assuming that it is someone else’s job!

Some parents think that they can just leave sex education to someone else to do. After all, their parents didn’t talk to them, and they managed to learn about sex.

But at some stage, all kids will learn about sex. If they don’t learn about it from you, they’ll pick up messages and values from their friends, TV, the Internet or magazines. These messages are often inaccurate, misleading and confusing. And the chances are that the values they learn will not be what you want your children to learn.

By talking with your child, you can help them make sense of this information, put them right, and make sure they don’t have strange, wrong, or risky ideas. They’ll also know that they can come to you with their questions.

So, one of the most common mistakes made by parents is assuming that sex education is someone else’s job!

4. You keep on putting it off!

Getting started with sex education can be challenging. Maybe they are too young, or you’ve left it too late! Many reasons can stop us from beginning sex education, and there are some really good reasons why you should be talking with your child about sex.

That first conversation about sex will be difficult, whether you talk about it today or next year. And the sooner you start talking, the easier it will be before you get to the tricky stuff in the teenage years! You can find some ideas on how to start chatting with your tween about puberty and sex in The Parents’ Guide to Puberty.

So, one of the most common mistakes parents make is putting it off until another day!

5. Feeling inadequate

Sometimes, parents think they need to know an awful lot to be a great sex educator, but you only need three things to get started.

1. A basic understanding of the topic
2. A willingness to initiate conversations with your kids.
3. Knowing where to go to find the answers and resources.

And trust me, you already know more than your child does. You’ve had first-hand experience of going through puberty, having your first kiss, falling in love and having sexual intercourse!

So, one of the most common mistakes parents make is assuming you don’t know enough!

So…

How many of these mistakes have you made?

Happy talking!
❤️ Cath

More sex education resources