Supporting AMAB Children with Disabilities Through Puberty
Puberty is a natural but often confusing time in a young person’s life, and for children or young adults assigned male at birth (AMAB) living with intellectual or physical disabilities, this time can feel even more overwhelming without the right support. You may be worried about how to talk about sensitive topics like erections, ejaculation, or privacy, especially when communication or physical support needs are complex. This guide is here to HELP! By using the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How approach, we aim to equip you with practical, inclusive and respectful ways to support your child or young person through puberty with understanding and dignity.
This series of blog posts was written by Brianna Bitt whilst completing a clinical placement at Sex Ed Rescue.
Brianna Bitt has a Master of Sexology and holds a background in Psychology. She works in the disability sector and is passionate about creating inclusive, accessible, and empowering sexuality education for people of all abilities. As part of her practicum placement in 2025, she has contributed to Sex Ed Rescue, exploring topics that matter deeply to the communities she supports.
You can find Brianna at LinkedIn.
You’ll find more information about sex ed when kids have a disability, on our disability resource page.
Let’s get started!
Who is this about?
This blog post is for parents, guardians, support workers, teachers and healthcare professionals supporting young people who are AMAB and living with a disability. You may also be reading this as a young person yourself, seeking out your own information. If that is the case, welcome! This blog post is about the young person themselves, who will go through changes in their body and emotions, and needs to be supported to understand and manage those changes with confidence, autonomy, and respect. Everyone deserves to understand and feel comfortable in their own body, regardless of ability!
Find practical tools to educate kids about sex education in the Sex Ed Shop
What is puberty?
Puberty is the stage of development where a child’s body begins to mature into an adult body capable of reproduction. For those AMAB, puberty often includes:
- Growth of facial, underarm, and pubic hair
- Voice deepening
- Increased muscle growth and body size
- Testicle and penis growth
- Erections and ejaculation which can also start whilst sleep (wet dreams)
- Increased body odour and acne
- Emotional changes and sexual curiosity
For your child or young adult, these changes might be distressing, exciting or sensory-challenging. The key is to teach them early that these changes are normal, and help them build skills and understanding over time.
When should I talk to them about it?
Start before puberty begins, ideally around ages 7 to 9, or as early as they start showing curiosity or body changes (like body odour or hair growth). Children with intellectual disabilities benefit from repetition, visual tools, and routine, so introducing puberty concepts early helps build comfort and familiarity. Try your best to make it ongoing! Talk about puberty often and casually, not just once. Link conversations to daily events, such as:
- Wash or toileting = talk about hygiene
- Body changes: explain hair growth or erections
- Emotional moments = Talk about feelings
Learning over time rather than just all at once gives your child time to ask questions, understand new concepts, and adjust emotionally.
Where does this support happen?
Support for puberty should happen across so many different areas of your child’s life!
- HOME: Consistent conversations, hygiene or schedules
- SCHOOL: Teachers or aids should be informed, supportive, and respectful of privacy
- HEALTH: Doctors and health professionals should be comfortable discussing sexual development with and about children and young adults living with disabilities.
- THERAPY: OTs, psychologists or support workers can help with regulation or sensory needs
Another tip: Setting up private spaces (bedroom, bathroom) and reinforcing privacy can help your child understand appropriate places for self-care and sexual exploration
Why is this important?
Puberty will happen regardless of ability, and without support, your young person could be at greater risk for
- Confusion about bodily changes
- Embarrassment or shame about erection or ejaculation
- Inappropriate behaviours (touching themselves in public)
- Exploitation or abuse due to a lack of understanding about consent
- Feeling left out or isolated during a major change of life
Supporting your child through puberty isn’t just about hygiene or biology, it’s about teaching bodily autonomy, consent, emotional regulation and self-worth!
Empowering your child now builds their independence and safety for the future!
How do I support them?
Firstly, use honest, clear and affirming language. A few things you could say include
- “Your body is growing, and that’s normal!”
- “That’s called an erection, it’s something people with penises experience”
- “Private things are for private places”
Avoid using slang names, and try and use real terms like penis, testicles and ejaculation. This helps build bodily awareness, safety and confidence!
Teach hygiene and routine:
- How to clean genitals
- How to manage erections and wet dreams (change clothes, wash sheets if accessible to do so)
- How to use deodorant, wash underarms, manage acne
Use visual guides, stories or checklists to reinforce steps. OTs and support workers can also assist with these things.
Reinforce consent and bodily autonomy:
- Teach the difference between public and private behaviours
- Role-playing saying “no” or asking for help
- Empower them to make decisions about their body (who helps them with hygiene)
Support emotional and sexual development:
- Talk about feelings like frustration, mood changes or attraction
- Normalise sexual feelings while teaching safe and respectful ways to express them
- Discuss boundaries, privacy and safe touch in an age appropriate way
Work with healthcare providers
- Choose a GP, nurse or paediatrician who is disability-informed
- Discuss any medical concerns (early puberty, hormonal concerns, sensory issues)
You’ve got this! Supporting your child through puberty is never a one-size-fits-all journey, especially when disability is part of the picture. But what remains true across all experiences is this: your support, patience and belief in their potential makes all the difference. You don’t need to have all the answers right away. What matters most is that you’re showing up with openness, love and a willingness to learn together. Your young person doesn’t need perfection, they need honest, consistent guidance, a safe space to ask questions, and the reassurance and they body is good, normal and worth caring for.
Final Thoughts
Remember:
- You are NOT alone, there are incredible resources and professionals ready to help
- You are already enough, because you care enough to be reading this
- And your child is capable and deserving of dignity, knowledge and joy in their body
With the right tools, community, and a heart full of compassion, you can guide them through this stage with confidence. This isn’t just about growing up, it’s about growing empowered. Every small conversation today builds a foundation for self-respect, safety and confidence tomorrow. You’ve GOT THIS!
Looking for more sex education resources? Then visit my Sex Education 101 page!
References
SECCA: SECCA offers free, evidence based resources, social stories, and visuals specifically for people with disabilities. Their app, downloadable PDFs and toolkit designed to support puberty, relationships, consent and body safety in an inclusive way.
Raising Children Network: The raising children network is an Australian government-supported website that provides free, up-to-date parenting guides, including articles on puberty and hygiene for children with disabilities. Information is easy to read, evidence-based and culturally inclusive. Overall a great website.
Family Planning NSW: Family Planning NSW offers accessible, downloadable booklets and tip sheets on puberty, periods, consent, self-care and relationships. They also provide training and workshops for caregivers and support workers.
Special Boys Business by Heather Anderson, Fay Angelo and Rose Stewart. This book explains the physical and emotional changes during puberty with clear illustrations. It focuses on privacy, erections, wet dreams, hygiene and body changes. It’s part of the “special business” series and designed to be inclusive for those with developmental delay or those on the autism spectrum.
What’s Happening to Tom? by Kate E. Reynolds. A visual, straight-talking book that explains ejaculation, erections and social rules about privacy. Great book that is useful for both home and school settings.
Planet Puberty: A great digital resource website made in collaboration with Family Planning NSW that contains a wide range of resources and strategies for parents or carers of children living with an intellectual disability! Definitely worth checking out!
You’ll also find more sex education and puberty books for children living with a disability in this extensive booklist.