Explaining where babies come from to kids – A parent’s guide

Let’s talk about where babies come from, as many parents struggle with knowing how to explain it to their children in an age-appropriate way.

‘Where do babies come from?’ is one of those questions that most parents will be asked at some time and place.

And if you’re lucky, you won’t be asked while lined up in a busy queue, waiting to buy ice cream! (That’s what happened to me!)

So, if you haven’t already been asked that question, now is the perfect time to get ready before you are asked!

Oh, and if you want to know how to explain how babies are made, that’s in its own blog post. And if you want to learn more about sex education, then the best place to start is my Sex Education 101 page.

Let’s get started!

Why do kids want to know?

So why do children like to ask this dreaded question? About where do babies come from?

They ask this question because they are trying to understand where they came from. They want to know where they were before they were born. And working out where babies come from is one of life’s great mysteries they want to solve.

Plus, we know that curiosity about where they came from is a natural part of child sexual development. Where they start to think about where they were before they were born. Were they a baby too?

To satisfy their curiosity, they’ll begin to ask questions about babies because they are trying to understand why they are here, i.e. why they exist.

Children first start to notice pregnancy and babies when they’re around 3 to 4 years of age.  And some children may not be curious about where babies come from until they are 4 or 5, or even older. And some kids never ask questions about it at all!

Why you need to answer their question

There are several important reasons why you need to answer the question ‘Where do babies come from?’ or ‘Where did I come from?’ when your child asks it.

1. The younger they are, the easier it is to explain

It is much easier to explain sex to children when they are younger. Now relax, as you don’t need to dive headfirst into the sex talk right now. And I’ll get to that very soon!

Explaining sex when kids are younger is easier because the information they need is much simpler. Their questions are more innocent, and they just see sex as another thing adult thing that doesn’t make a lot of sense to them!

So when children first start asking questions about where they came from, all they need is their questions answered. Whereas a ten year old is more curious about how babies are made, and that is when you do need to talk about sex!

So it is a good idea to start talking about this stuff when they are younger (instead of leaving it until puberty).

And by the time their questions get trickier, and they want to know how babies are made, it’ll be a lot easier as you’ll be a lot more used to talking to them about sex stuff.

2. You want to be their primary source of information

Another reason for answering their questions now is to encourage your child to come to you with their questions. If you can train them to turn to you with their questions now, they’ll grow up knowing that you are a reliable source of information. So when they hear the other children at the park talking about ‘sex’, they’ll know you are the person to turn to with their questions.

As your child grows up, they’ll slowly start to spend more time with other children at places like daycare, school, church, swim lessons, or the local park. This is a good thing, as making friends is important, but it also means you can no longer control the information your child receives. I’m sorry to say it, but your child will be exposed to sexual information whether you like it or not!

So if you want your child to learn about where babies come from and how they are made from you, you need to talk to them now, whilst they are curious!

And answering their questions means they receive the correct information now!

3. You want to be askable

By ignoring questions about where babies come from (or how they are made), you’re giving your child the unspoken message that you won’t answer questions about sex. And if you won’t answer their questions about sex, then you probably won’t answer their questions about other stuff too!

Which means they’ll stop coming to you with their questions. And it’s possible they’ll also stop telling you about the things that worry them, which is the last thing any parent wants.

So answering their questions about sex means your child will grow up knowing they can talk to you about anything! And that is a good thing!

How to explain… ‘Where do babies come from?’

When children ask where babies come from, they aren’t asking about sex or how babies are made.

All they want to know is where they came from, i.e., where they were before birth.

And the answer is pretty simple… they came from inside a uterus. It might be your uterus or someone else’s uterus.

If your child grew inside your uterus, you could say, ‘You came from a special place inside me, near my tummy.’

Or you could say, ‘You grew inside my uterus. The uterus is a special bag inside my body, a place where a baby can grow.’

The answer can be as simple as that. 😌 I can hear your sigh of relief!

And please don’t get worried about having to use the right words. If you want to say uterus, you can, but please don’t feel that you have to. Use an explanation that works for you. I like ‘baby bag’ as the uterus is like a reusable bag a baby grows inside! But you can also use ‘special place’, ‘tummy’, and even ‘womb’ if you like!

Use the explanation that feels comfortable for you!

It’s also important to know that your child will probably forget most of what you say anyway! But hopefully, this will be just the first of many conversations you’ll be having about where babies come from!

Now…

Most younger children will be satisfied with this amount of information. If they want to know more, you’ll need to read my blog post on how babies are made.

Tips to make the conversation easier!

It isn’t about sex! All they want is to know where they were before they were born!

Answer their question like any other question. Answer their questions about where babies come from, just like you would with any other question they ask. Like what they’re having for breakfast!

KISS: Keep it simple and short. Just answer their question, check if they have any questions and move on to something else (like a snack or a puzzle).

Don’t stress about saying too much! Luckily for us parents, kids have inbuilt safety switches, i.e. they promptly forget anything they don’t understand. So you don’t have to worry about sparking their curiosity about stuff they aren’t ready for!​​

Is your child ready to know the answer?

If your child has asked the question, they’re ready for the answer.

If they haven’t asked the question but notice babies and pregnant tummies, they are ready to know.

And if you’re unsure, it won’t harm them to start simply with some basic information.

If they want to know more, you’ll need to read my blog post on how babies are made as it will walk you through the next part of the conversation!

If you are starting to hesitate, then that’s okay. It’s your child, and you need to parent them in a way that works for you.

But before you decide to save this conversation for another day, please read this blog post, as it will help you determine if your child is the right age to talk about the birds and bees. Or I have a quiz that will tell you in two minutes whether they are ready (or not)!

If you’re an LGBTQ parent

If you’re LFBTQ, then you may be wondering if your conversation will differ.

Not really, as we are only talking about where a baby grows, so it may be your uterus, the uterus of their other parent, or the uterus of a surrogate.

So you could name the person who owns the uterus they grew in (if you have a name and are happy to disclose this).

If you used a surrogate, you could explain that a nice person let them grow in their uterus. You could name them or just describe them as a nice (or special) person who let them use their uterus. Why? Because you didn’t have a uterus yourself to use, or your uterus doesn’t work properly, or whatever reason you’d like to share.

And in case you’re wondering, all of the resources in the Sex Ed Shop are inclusive for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and non-binary parents.

Children’s books

Books can be a game-changer for this conversation! And there are some wonderful books in my video-reviewed booklist of children’s books about where babies come from. You’re sure to find the perfect book on that list!

There are some beautiful children’s books about where babies come from, and the books in this list are the books that are just about that. So, sex isn’t talked about in any of these books!

I hope that helps you explain to your child where babies come from.

Happy talking!
❤️ Cath

Resources for explaining where babies come from

You aren’t left alone with this conversation, as I have some wonderful resources that will make explaining easier.