Understanding furries and cosplay for children: A guide for parents

Welcome to my post about furries, cosplay and children.

Now, technically, this isn’t really a sex education topic. But I’m writing this blog post because I’ve noticed that some parents are concerned that their child’s interest may be a sexual thing, like a sexual attraction or orientation, a kink or a fetish.

This blog post is designed to be a commonsense overview of what parents need to know about furries, how to respond and what to be aware of. I’ll also include links to some helpful resources if you want more information.

And if you want to learn more about what sex education is all about, then the best place to do that is my Sex Education 101 page.

Let’s get started!

What is a furry?

A furry is a term to describe a person who likes to dress up in fur as an animal. So they will be dressed as animals, like cats or wolves, but they’ll have a human element. They might have a full fursuit where you can’t see their body underneath (like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland). Or they may wear ears and a tail, a head mask or the top half of a fursuit.

Their animal identity is called a fursona. Someone might have one fursona identity or multiple identities.

Furry is a singular term, so your child might be a furry who hangs out with other furries.

What is cosplay?

Cosplay is short for ‘costume play’, when people create costumes for a pre-existing character. It might be a costume they buy or a costume they make themselves.

So, if I want to cosplay as Wonder Woman, I’d create a costume that Wonder Woman might wear. And when people see me wearing that costume, they’d easily recognise that I am dressed as Wonder Woman.

What’s the difference between furries and cosplay?

The main difference is that cosplay is about dressing like a character you admire, like Superman or Wonder Woman.

On the other hand, furries are about creating your own animal identity, and they are unique to you. Others may not recognise their fursona (or identity) unless they are well-known, active on social media, or regularly attending conventions.

Is it a fetish? Or a kink?

Dressing up in a costume is only a kink or fetish if it has a sexual element. Does your child dress in their costume and masturbate? Does your young person masturbate in their costume or have sex with other people whilst they are in their costume or pretending to be their character?

Furry sex can be a thing for a small number of adults, where they’ll have sex in costume (or out of it), they may watch furry-themed pornography, or use an animal-shaped dildo (like a wolf) in sexplay with another person or by themselves.

So, it is very uncommon for cosplay and furplay to develop into a fetish or kink in children. You can learn more in this blog post about the development of kinks and fetishes in children. And it isn’t an indicator that they’ll have an animal or costume fetish or kink, as an adult.

What if my child thinks they’re a dog? Is it more than dress-up?

Sometimes, children will believe they are an animal, like a dog. They will then insist on being fed from a food bowl on the ground, wear a collar, pretend to be a dog and insist on being treated like a dog. This might last for a couple of hours a day, half a day or all day. This behaviour might last for days, weeks, or even months. They may go through a stage, stop doing it, and then restart it several months later.

Most of the time, this is just a developmental stage where they are expressing their imagination through play. It is usually a harmless stage of development that they’ll outgrow.

Occasionally, children will believe they are an animal or have an animal spirit, and this is something different called a therian. This is not my area of expertise, so if you want to learn more about therianthropy, please read this blog post about furries and therians in child development.

From my readings, the consensus is that when children believe they are an animal or have an animal spirit, it is more about fun than a way of life. As a parent, you’d respond with curiosity (and try to understand what it means to them), be open-minded and non-judgemental, and wait and see what happens. Don’t condemn it, and instead, be quietly supportive.

Most of the time, it’s an imaginative stage of development that they outgrow.

What if they’re pretending to be a different gender?

Furries and cosplay are about fandom, imagination and play. So, dressing as a different gender in this situation isn’t an indicator of gender confusion or that your child is transgender, non-binary or gender fluid. They might be, but there would be other signs in your child indicating gender diversity.

It is also an indicator that your child isn’t caught up in conforming to gender stereotypes. Which is a good thing! 😊

I do want to share, though, that research suggests that more than 70 percent of furries identify as LGBTQ+, more than 25% are gender-identity diverse, and it is thought that 4 to 15% are on the autism spectrum.

Won’t people make fun of them?

A common concern I hear from parents, is the fear of their child being teased about furries or cosplay. And it’s a valid fear, as our natural instinct is to protect our children.

And it may happen. But what often happens with kids who are into cosplay and furries, is that they find other kids with similar interests. And even if they don’t know any other kids with similar interests, they may be able to find that in the online world. Outschool now offer forums for children, and they even have one for furries.

How to respond to cosplay and being a furry?

As a parent, the best approach to take is to be open-minded, non-judgemental and curious. Try to treat this as a new hobby or special interest, like being a swiftie (Taylor Swift fan) or following a sporting club, like the football club Arsenal or Manchester United.

You can be open-minded, by not jumping to conclusions and wait for your child to give you more information, instead of making assumptions (as assumptions are often inaccurate).

You can be non-judgemental, by being neutral and not teasing or criticising them for their interests. You can be a little positive, but you shouldn’t be going out of your way to encourage this interest. For example, you could offer to help them with their costume, but don’t take over and start organising it for them. Let them know they can ask you for help if they need it, and wait for them to ask.

You can be curious, by asking questions to learn more. Explore what cosplay or being a furry may look like for your child, and what it means to them. Being interested encourages them to share more informaiton with you.

So it is a matter of just sitting back, being open-minded, non-judgemental and curious, and waiting to see what happens with their interestest in furries or cosplay.

What are the risks of cosplay and being a furry?

The biggest risk with cosplay and being a furry, is the potential for grooming. Your child has taken an interest in something that also interests adults, so it means they’ll probably become a fan of adult furries or cosplayers. And some adults may groom children and sexually abuse them.

The risk for this to happen is also greater because we are talking about fandom, where children place the people they admire (usually adults) onto a pedestal.

This 15-minute video from the UK looks at sexual abuse and trafficking in the furry community. You can watch it on YouTube.

So it’s important to have chats about body safety, grooming and what to do if someone makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Here’s a great parent course to help you get started with teaching these things to your child.

Further resources about furries and cosplay

Captvre Imagination in the USA has a blog post from a psychologist about furries and therians in child development.

FurScience has a resource page for parents where they address parental concerns and questions.

Safer Schools in the UK, have a helpful guide that aims to raise parental awareness about furries, reported concerns, and claimed misunderstandings surrounding the furry fandom.

The Conversation have a post that debunks the myths about kids identifying as animals, and litter boxes in schools.

The Fandom: A Furry Documentary Full Movie is a 90 minute documentary about the furry world. Worth watching is you want to gain a better understanding of what the furry fandom is about.

I hope you’ve found this information helpful.

Happy talking!
❤️ Cath