A common request that I am hearing from parents, is resources to help normalise the diversity of genitals.
Kids are stumbling upon online pornography, and are worried because their genitals look different. They worry that their penis is too small, as it isn’t porn-sized (i.e. huge). Or they worry that their vulva is ugly, as it doesn’t look tidy and trim (and they don’t realise that some actors in porn have had labia surgery).
So I am creating this list of resources, so that you can discuss genital diversity with your child, tween and/or teen. Just like our faces are unique, so too are our genitals. These are all resources that will help your child to understand that genitals aren’t meant to look the same, or in a particular way.
Websites that you may find helpful:
- The Labia Library by Women’s Health Victorias (Australia) has a collection of colour photographs to illustrate that vulvas come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
- Comfortable in my Skin is a fabulous Aussie website with lots of photographs of breasts, vulvas, penises and bodies.
- Gynodiversity is a website with some fantastic resources on vulva diversity eg this classification list of external differences (it even goes into the different colours!)
- The Beautiful Cervix is a website that has lots of photographs of cervixes, and information about how the cervix can help you to understand and track your menstrual cycle.
- The Vulva Gallery by Sam Hil Atalanta is both a website (as well as a book) that celebrates vulva diversity. You will also find illustrations of diverse penises as well. No photographs but illustrations.
- Vielma by Stefanie Grübl is an online shop that sells diverse sex education resources (with an emphasis on diversity and inclusivity). The vielma.art Instagram feed is worth following as Stefanie shares many of their illustrations and photographs of their models, and general information about bodies.
- Type ‘spencer tunick’ into a search engine and look at the many realistic photographs of bodies. You may still be able to find their books in second-hand bookshops.
A book that isn’t included in books below (but is also a favourite of mine) is Femalia by Joani Blank. It is one of the very first books with photographs of vulvas. These photos are in full colour and reflect a group of women diverse in age, race, ethnicity and childbearing status. They are a good source of teaching materials for normalising the diversity in vulvas. You can buy a copy of Femalia from Amazon.
You can find more books about different topics in the main list of Sex Education Books for Children.
And if you find this list a little overwhelming, you might want to look at the age-appropriate list of sex education books.
You’ll find more information about sex education in my Sex Education 101 page.
Books about genital diversity
Below you’ll find all the individual books for talking to kids about genital diversity. Just click the book that interests you to learn more.
NOTE: Before passing any book to your child or reading the book with your child, you should read it yourself first. I might think it is a great book for a certain age child or that the information is valuable, but you may disagree. You need to choose books that reflect your values and the messages you want your child to receive.
We Need to Talk About Vaginas by Dr. Allison K. Rodgers
Hello Every Body! by Samantha Curcio
Womanhood : The Bare Reality by Laura Dodsworth
Bare Reality: 100 Women, Their Breasts, Their Stories by Laura Dodsworth
Manhood: The Bare Reality by Laura Dodsworth
Petals by Nick Karras
Let’s Look at Different Body Parts Cards by Sex Ed Rescue
A Celebration of Vulva Diversity by Hilde Atalanta
These are some of the few books that will help you in educating your child, tween or teen about genital diversity i.e. how different genitals can look. As I find more, I will add them to this list. They are all really good books that you will find useful for starting this conversation.
Happy reading!