Resources for talking about genital diversity

A common request that I am hearing from parents is for resources to help normalise the diversity of genitals.

Kids are stumbling upon online pornography and are worried because their genitals look different to what they see in porn.

They worry that their penis is too small, as it isn’t porn-sized, i.e. huge. Or they fear that their vulva is ugly, as it doesn’t look tidy and trim, as they don’t realise that some actors in porn have had labia surgery.

So, I am creating this resource list to help you normalise genital diversity with your child, tween or teen. Because just like our faces are unique, so too are our genitals. And when children understand this, they tend to stop worrying about whether their genitals are normal (or not).

These are all resources that will help your child understand that genitals aren’t meant to look the same or in a particular way.

If you’re looking for a book on a different topic, look at my main list of sex education books for children. It includes over 40+ topics!

You’ll also find more information about sex education on my Sex Education 101 page.

Websites with genital diversity

Websites that you may find helpful:

• The Labia Library by Women’s Health Victorias (Australia) has a collection of colour photographs illustrating that vulvas come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
• Comfortable in my Skin is a fabulous Aussie website with lots of photographs of breasts, vulvas, penises and bodies.
• Gynodiversity is a website with some fantastic resources on vulva diversity, eg this classification list of external differences (it even goes into the different colours!)
• The Beautiful Cervix is a website that has lots of photographs of cervixes and information about how the cervix can help you to understand and track your menstrual cycle.
• The Vulva Gallery by Sam Hil Atalanta is both a website (as well as a book) that celebrates vulva diversity. You will also find illustrations of diverse penises as well—no photographs but illustrations.
• Vielma by Stefanie Grübl is an online shop that sells diverse sex education resources (with an emphasis on diversity and inclusivity). The vielma.art Instagram feed is worth following as Stefanie shares many of their illustrations and photographs of their models, as well as general information about bodies.
• Type ‘spencer tunick’ into a search engine and look at the many realistic photographs of bodies. You may still be able to find their books in second-hand bookshops.

Children’s books about genital diversity

You’ll find an age-specific list of children’s books about diversity in genitals. All of the books on this topic are currently showing.

To find relevant books for your child’s age, click on their age, and the appropriate books will appear.

A book not included in the books below (but is a favourite of mine) is Femalia by Joani Blank. It is one of the very first books with photographs of vulvas. These photos are in full colour and reflect a group of women diverse in age, race, ethnicity and childbearing status. They are a good source of teaching materials for normalising the diversity in vulvas. You can buy a copy of Femalia from Amazon.

These are some of the few books that will help you in educating your child, tween or teen about genital diversity i.e. how different genitals can look. As I find more, I will add them to this list. They are all really good books that you will find useful for starting this conversation.

Oh, and please do let me know if you know of a book to be added to this list!

Happy reading!
❤️ Cath