How to Explain Periods to a Child (regardless of their gender or age)

mother talking to young children about periods

Let’s talk about how to explain periods to your child, as we get a lot of questions about it in my free Facebook sex education group for parents, that parent group. When to explain periods and how to talk about periods with boys or kids who won’t have a period.

A lot of parents are unsure about whether their child needs to know about periods, what to tell them and how much they actually need to know. Or they want their son (or child with testicles) to be understanding of what their sisters (or child with ovaries) are going through. Or they want to make sure that their son grows up without adding to the shame that is often associated with periods.

This is an important discussion to have with all children (regardless of their gender), as they will be having contact with people who menstruate for their whole life – school friends, intimate partners, sisters, work colleagues and maybe even their own child. And if your child is a boy (or has testicles), research tells us that boys want to know more about periods. So this is your opportunity as a parent, to start sharing some positive messages about periods with your children, and to counteract the negative messages they may already be receiving from the media, their friends and society.

You’ll find more information about puberty in my Puberty 101 page.

When to start explaining periods to your children

There is no ‘right’ time to start explaining periods to children.  It is completely up to you but the earlier you start talking about puberty, the easier it can be.

You can start talking to kids about puberty from a very young age. By starting when they are younger, you are gently introducing the concept to them that one day their body will start to change from being a child’s body to an adult body. Kids as young as three or four will have no trouble grasping this concept. They won’t really understand why, or even want to know, but they will accept it as just another thing that will one day happen to them. They will see puberty (and periods) as being normal.

There are many possible opportunities for talking about periods with children. Your 3 year old might walk into the bathroom when you’re changing your tampon or pad. They might ask why you’re bleeding down there. Your 5 year old might be upset because their big sister sometimes shuts the toilet door and won’t let them in (because they are changing their pad). Your 7 year old might find period supplies in the bathroom drawer and ask what they are.

These are all situations where you can provide your male child with basic information that will satisfy their curiosity. You don’t need to worry about giving them too much information. Anything they don’t understand will soon be forgotten because it just won’t make sense to them.

mother explaining periods to her son
Next time you unpack the groceries together, ask your son to pack away the period products and start a conversation about periods.

What do children need to know about periods

All children need to know that people of a different sex to them will also go through puberty (like them). Some of the changes for people with overies are the same, and some of them are different.

So it might be helpful for your child to know that:

  • a period is when blood comes out of the vagina
    • it is part of the reproductive cycle for people with ovaries
    • each month the uterus gets ready to have a baby
      • the uterus grows a thin layer of blood and special tissue that make a soft bed for a baby to grow on
      • if there is no pregnancy, the body throws the bed away, as it isn’t needed
      • it comes out as blood through the vagina and is called a menstrual period
    • this usually happens once a month until they go through menopause in their 50s
    • sometimes periods can be uncomfortable
  • pads and tampons are used to absorb the blood (there are other menstruation products too)
  • a period is a normal part of being fertile for people with ovaries
  • a person with ovaries is fertile (capable of becoming pregnant) once they start to have their periods
  • there are many other words for periods – menstruation as well as lots of slang
    • there is also lots of slang and some of it can be insulting
  • periods only happen to people with a uterus
    • which means that a transgender man (who was born with ovaries) may experience periods as they still have a uterus
  • people may feel embarrassed talking about their periods
    • it’s important to not tease them about it
  • sometimes periods can stain clothing and this can be very embarrassing for people
    • they should never shame someone when this happens
    • they should discretely let them (or one of their friends) know that this has happened

How to start explaining periods to your child

The best approach when explaining periods to children is to talk about periods in the exact same way that you talk about anything else.

So use the same voice that you normally use.  This way you are giving your child the message that periods are a natural part of life or people with ovaries. They aren’t anything to be ashamed of and are just a part of everyday (or monthly) life.

There are many small things to start doing. Try to be more open in regards to the fact that periods happen. Take your child shopping with you, walk down the ‘period product’ aisle together and start up a conversation.  Or get them to help you unpack the shopping, and ask them to put the period products away for you.

Talk openly about your own periods (if you have them) or that other people they know have them (like their teacher or a relative). If you’re comfortable, you can also make sure you talk about periods in front of people who don’t have periods in your household, too. Kids learn more by what we do than what we say. So try to role model a positive approach.

If talking about periods makes you feel uncomfortable, then explain this to your child. Talk about the reasons why you might feel uncomfortable, and explain to them the negative messages that you received during your own childhood.

If you’re unsure about how to start explaining periods to children who won’t have them, then you might find my parent book, The Parents’ Guide to Puberty, helpful as it has lots of helpful suggestions on how to start talking with kids about puberty.

Try including their other parent in the conversation as well.

mother and daughter having a conversation about periods
Show your child what period products look like, open them up and practice putting them (especially if they are a boy or have testicles).

Resources for talking to kids about periods

There are lots of resources for talking to kids about periods!

Unsure about whether a first period is on it’s way? Complete my First Period Quiz to learn whether it’ll be sooner (or later).

There are lots of children’s books about periods, and many of the children’s puberty books for girls talk about them as well. You will find age-specific booklists about puberty as well.

These are the 10 best puberty books and are the books I always seem to be recommending to parents. This is the list to refer to if you find the other book lists overwhelming!

Look at my Puberty 101 information page as it has everything you need to know about preparing your child for puberty.

Grab my Parents’ Guide to Puberty as it will help you get started with understanding and supporting your child as they go through puberty.

Unsure if your child is ready for the puberty talk? Find out by completing my Parent Quiz: Is your child ready for the puberty talk?

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