How to explain periods to a child (regardless of their gender or age)
Let’s talk about how to explain periods to your child, as I get a lot of questions from parents about when to explain it, as well as how to talk about periods with kids who won’t ever have periods (like boys or kids with testicles).
Many parents are unsure whether their child needs to know about periods, what to tell them and how much they need to know. Or they want their son (or child with testicles) to be understanding of what their sisters (or child with ovaries) are going through. Or they want to make sure that their son grows up without adding to the shame that is often associated with periods.
This is an important discussion to have with all children (regardless of their gender), as they will be having contact with people who menstruate for their whole life – school friends, intimate partners, sisters, work colleagues and maybe even their children.
And if your child is a boy (or has testicles), research tells us that boys want to know more about periods. So this is your opportunity as a parent to start sharing some positive messages about periods with your children and to counteract the negative messages they may already be receiving from the media, their friends and society.
You’ll find more information about periods on my Period Talk page, and everything else about puberty on my Puberty 101 page.
Let’s get started!
A NOTE ABOUT SEX AND GENDER. Sex and gender exist on spectrums. This page will use the term ‘female’, ‘male’ and/or ‘intersex’ to refer to the sex assigned at birth. It will use the terms ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ to refer to children who are cisgender, i.e. a child who was born with ovaries and identifies as a girl, or a child who was born with testicles and identifies as a boy. In regards to gender-diverse children, refer to the information that matches their gonads (ovaries or testicles), as gonads drive puberty and they are responsible for making bodies change. Click here to learn more about sex and gender.
When to start explaining periods to your children
There is no ‘right’ time to start explaining periods to children. It is completely up to you, but the earlier you start talking about puberty, the easier it can be.
You can start talking to kids about puberty from a very young age. By starting when they are younger, you are gently introducing the concept that one day their body will change from a child’s body to an adult one.
Kids as young as three or four will have no trouble grasping this concept. They won’t understand why (or even want to know why), but they will accept it as just another thing that will one day happen to them. They will see puberty (and periods) as being natural and inevitable.
There are many possible opportunities for talking about periods with children.
Your 3 year old might walk into the bathroom when you’re changing your tampon or pad. They might ask why you’re bleeding down there.
Your 5 year old might be upset because their big sister sometimes shuts the toilet door and won’t let them in (because they are changing their pad).
Your 7 year old might find period supplies in the bathroom drawer and ask what they are.
These are all situations where you can provide your child with basic information to satisfy their curiosity. You don’t need to worry about giving them too much information. Anything they don’t understand will soon be forgotten because it just won’t make sense to them.
Find practical tools to educate kids about puberty in the Sex Ed Shop
What do children need to know about periods
All children need to know that everyone goes through puberty, regardless of whether they have different genitals to them or the same.
People with ovaries and testicles will have similar changes, like pubic hair and growing taller. But they’ll also have different changes. For example, only people with ovaries will have periods (or menstruate).
It might be helpful for your child to know the following information:
- a period is when blood comes out of the vagina
- it is part of the reproductive cycle for people with ovaries
- each month the uterus gets ready to have a baby
- the uterus grows a thin layer of blood and special tissue that make a soft bed for a baby to grow on
- if there is no pregnancy, the body throws the bed away, as it isn’t needed
- it comes out as blood through the vagina and is called a menstrual period
- this usually happens once a month until they go through menopause in their 50s
- sometimes periods can be uncomfortable
- pads and tampons are used to absorb the blood (there are other menstruation products too)
- a period is a normal part of being fertile for people with ovaries
- a person with ovaries is fertile (capable of becoming pregnant) once they start to have their periods
- there are many other words for periods – menstruation as well as lots of slang, some of which can be insulting
- periods only happen to people with a uterus
- which means that a transgender man (who was born with ovaries) may experience periods as they still have a uterus
- people may feel embarrassed talking about their periods
- it’s important not to tease them about it
- sometimes periods can stain clothing, and this can be embarrassing for people
- they should never shame someone when this happens
- they should discretely let them (or one of their friends) know that this has happened
How to start explaining periods to your child
The best approach when explaining periods to children is to talk about periods in the same way that you talk about anything else.
So use the same voice that you usually use. This way, you are giving your child the message that periods are a natural part of life for people with ovaries. They aren’t anything to be ashamed of and are just a part of everyday (or monthly) life.
There are many small things to start doing. Try to be more open regarding the fact that periods happen. Take your child shopping with you, walk down the ‘period product’ aisle together and start a conversation. Or get them to help you unpack the shopping bag and ask them to put the period products away.
Talk openly about your periods (if you have them) or that other people they know may have them (like their teacher or a relative). If you’re comfortable, you can also talk about periods in front of other household adults who don’t menstruate.
Kids learn more from what we do than from what we say. So try to role model a positive approach.
If talking about periods makes you feel uncomfortable, then explain this to your child. Talk about the reasons why you might feel uncomfortable, and discuss the negative messages you received during your childhood.
If you’re unsure about how to start explaining periods to children who won’t have them, then you might find my parent book, The Parents’ Guide to Puberty, helpful as it has lots of useful suggestions on how to start talking with kids about puberty.
Try including their other parent in the conversation as well.
More resources for talking to kids about periods
There are lots of resources for talking to kids about periods!
Don’t forget that you can find more period and puberty resources in the Sex Ed Shop.
Like The Parents’ Guide to Puberty, which will help you to wrap your head around puberty and how to help your child as their body changes.
Unsure about whether a first period is on its way? Complete my First Period Quiz to learn whether it’ll be sooner (or later).
There are lots of children’s books about periods, and many of the children’s puberty books for girls talk about them as well. You will find age-specific booklists about puberty as well.
These are the 10 best puberty books and are the books I always seem to be recommending to parents. (This is the list to refer to if you find the other book lists overwhelming!)
Unsure if your child is ready for the puberty talk? Find out by completing my Parent Quiz: Is your child ready for the puberty talk?
Looking for more puberty resources? Then visit my Puberty 101 page!
I hope that helps you to explain periods to your child
Happy talking!
❤️ Cath