Let’s talk about sex education for Christian families, as we get some questions about it in my free Facebook sex education group for parents, that parent group.
But before we start, I want to remind you that I’m a nurse, I believe in science (and research), and that is what I teach in regard to sex-ed conversations. So I cannot tell you what religious values to share with your children, or what scripture is relevant to love, sex and relationships.
And honestly, even if I could tell you, I wouldn’t!
Why?
Because the values you share with your children are personal and unique to your family, so I’m not going to tell you what religious values you should (or shouldn’t) share with your children. That is your decision to make.
Cos here’s the thing…
The best way to parent your children in a way that’s aligned with your your faith, is by having open, honest, positive and ongoing conversations about love, sex and relationships.
And when you talk about these sex-ed things with your kids, it lets them know they can talk to you about anything (not matter what). So when your child hears the other kids giggling on the bus about a ‘blowjob’, they already know they can ask you about it, as you always answer their questions (no matter what), and explain things in a way they understand.
And because life gets busy and there are certain things you want them to learn from you first (and not their friends), like how babies are made or what pornography is, you also read sex-ed books with them. Plus you find everyday situations in your daily life to turn into teachable moments about love, sex and relationships.
And instead of feeling despair at the sexualised messages your children are constantly being bombarded with in this oversexualised world that we all live in, you realise that they actually make sex education easier for you! As they provide you with countless opportunities to share your values and beliefs (and faith) with your children. Which allows you to be the guiding light that has the most influence over you child as they develop their own sexual values.
And the best way to influence the development of your child’s sexual values (and to hope in heaven that they are similar to yours), is by sharing your values and beliefs with your child. Weave them into your sex-ed conversations. And the more you talk about your values and beleifs, the more likely it is that your child will take them on board.
The best way for you to gain clarity about what religious values to share with your children is with my Sexual Values Workbooks. They will tell you what to expect in regards to sexuality, get you thinking about what values are relevant now, and whether you want to share them with your children (or not).
Christian sex ed resources
I have been reviewing sex education resources since 2006. And after countless hours spent reviewing Christian resources, I’ve realised that there are two types of sex education resources created for Christian families.
The first type is where facts are given, and scripture is shared to tell you what God’s design and plan is for love, sex and relationships. These resources are also strong advocates of purity. Where masturbation, same-sex attraction, gender diversity, and sex outside of marriage are sinful. I talk more about this in my blog post about abstinence only sex education.
The second type of Christian resource is one that is welcoming and affirming. One where their God is a kind, compassionate and loving God. And where they are inclusive and accepting of same-sex attracted and gender diverse people.
You will find both types of christian resources listed below.
TIP. If you are looking for sex-ed resources that include scripture, your best option is the Good and the Beautiful’s homeschool module on Maturation and Sexual Reproduction or Luke and Trisha Gilkerson’s sex ed resources. There’s also some Christian sex-ed books with scripture in my book lists. You may also find the God’s Design for Sex website from Stan and Brenna Jones helpful as well. Or look for a Christian blogger or podcaster who talks about puberty and/or sexuality.
Sex education books for Christian families
I have a separate blog post with all of the Christian sex education and puberty books for children. You’ll find a wide range of children’s books to help you have sex-ed conversations that incorporate your faith.
⚠️ A reminder! The values, attitudes and beliefs inside these resources are of the authors (and not mine).
Videos from Christian vloggers
I have found a couple of videos on YouTube that are quite informative and helpful. The first video is more about how to incorporate Christianity into your sex-ed conversations. The second video is more about why Christian families need to be talking, and their interpretation of scripture and sexuality.
Both are worth the time to watch.
Christian mom perspective on the birds and bees
The YouTube channel Our HOMEschool Plan has a 30 minute video – 💕HOW we address “BIRDS & BEES!”💕Christian Mom perspective!! – where Rachel talks about how they have incorporated their religious values and beliefs into their sex-ed conversations.
Rachel explains that her family has been having sex-ed conversations from the beginning, and she shares how she finds teachable moments throughout her day that she uses to share her values & beliefs about sexuality. She talks about how she turns what she sees in modern-day life into an opportunity to share her beliefs instead. So, instead of losing hope about the sexualised world her kids are growing up in (and the erosion of faith-based values), she sees these as an opportunity to be talking, and she reminds us that this is why parents need to step up and provide their children with a guiding light. As your conversations will provide kids with guidance, and by sharing your values, your children are more likely to develop similar values.
Let me give you an example. You are watching a Disney movie, and the princess wakes up after being kissed. You can turn this into a teachable moment about purity, in that kisses should be saved for marriage.
So this is worth listening to, as it will help you understand how your Christian values can be woven into sex education and your parenting.
Our Fruitful Family (Vloggers that talk about sex and god)
Our Fruitful Family is a YouTube channel of a Christian family in America, and the parents have bravely been tackling sexuality and Christianity. They have a sense of humour, are very comfortable with talking about sex and share scriptures with their information. Topics include contraception, sexual purity, salvation, virginity and more.
They have a video about Christian sex education that is worth a listen to. It is surprisingly well-researched and advocates that parents talk early and talk often. So, it is worth a listen if you want to understand how to combine your Christian values with sex education. But… their children are only young, so it may not be of value if your children are older (like a tween or teen). I am hoping this couple revisit sex education in their videos as their children grow older.
Watch some of their videos and make your own opinion.
Our Whole Lives Sexuality Education (OWL)
Our Whole Life Sexuality Education (OWL) from the Unitarian Universalist Association has a well-known and highly respected sex education curriculum that can be used in both secular settings and faith communities. They run workshops in churches, schools and communities throughout the USA and Canada, and are constantly training new Facilitators.
Our Whole Lives helps participants make informed and responsible decisions about their sexual health and behaviour. It equips participants with accurate, age-appropriate information in six subject areas: human development, relationships, personal skills, sexual behavior, sexual health, and society and culture. Grounded in a holistic view of sexuality, Our Whole Lives not only provides facts about anatomy and human development, but also helps participants clarify their values, build interpersonal skills, and understand the spiritual, emotional, and social aspects of sexuality. Sexuality and Our Faith are religious companion manuals to the Our Whole Lives program that integrate ritual, prayer, liturgy and scripture into each lesson plan. Incorporating these resources encourages participants to apply their religious values to issues related to sexuality.
If this program interests you, don’t forget to have a look at the Our Whole Lives website, as they have information on how to find an OWL program near you, and further information on their program. I haven’t looked at this curriculum (as the cost to ship it to Australia is exorbitant) so I can’t vouch for it. But I have only ever heard glowing reviews from parents attending it as well as from parents who are Facilitators and running the course in their local community. It is an inclusive program that does not discrimate again gender diverse and sexually diverse people.
You may also want to read this article on Medium about the OWL program. And here is their resource on what’s religious about sexuality education.
Paid courses & guides
There are a few paid resources out there to assist you in incorporating Christian values into sex education (listed in alphabetical order). You’ll find written guides, online courses and even a curriculum for homeschoolers. I have purchased each of these resources, and the information inside them appears to be medically accurate.
If you are unsure, my advice is to sign up for their emails, follow them on social media and get a feel for their style before spending money.
Birds & Bees Online Course
The Birds & Bees Online Course is designed to help families get started with sex education. They don’t market it for Christian families, but they do walk you through a biblical understanding of the Birds & Bees curriculum. There is a video and a short Biblical discussion guide you can use with your family.
Throughout their online course, they emphasise sharing your values but do not tell you what those values should be; instead, they allow you to share the values that matter to you. It suitable for parents of children aged between 1 to 10 years.
The Christian Sex Educator
Carlie from the Christian Sex Educator has a parent guide for younger children called Teaching Kids About Sex: The Parent Guidebook. She describes herself as a sexuality researcher and Jesus-lover, and I believe she is also a parent. Her website has content for Christians in every life stage, whether you’re single, engaged, married and/or have started a family.
This resource doesn’t contain scripture but God and faith is lightly mentioned. Her approach is shame-free and positive, but there isn’t a lot of guidance on what sex education that incorporates Christianity actually looks like in the family home.
Maturation & Sexual Reproduction | The Good and the Beautiful
The Good and the Beautiful have a homeschool module on Maturation and Sexual Reproduction. If you are looking for something that incorporates scripture and references to the bible, then this is the resource to look at. You will also find books that do this in my list of Christian sex education books for kids.
This is a home curriculum that helps parents to talk to their children about puberty and sex in a way that is holy and comfortable. There is a course book and a student workbook that you can purchase as a printable or physical copy. It is suitable for children aged 7 and older.
There are eight lessons in this resource, including male bodies and puberty, female bodies and puberty, menstruation, sexual intercourse and living virtuously, pregnancy and birth, pornography, and personal hygiene. The information is factual, and there are lots of activities and suggestions on how to weave Christianity into your teaching.
And because you may ask me, here’s the info on the worldview and moral stance they take: This unit takes a nondenominational Christian worldview that the purpose of sex education is to train children to live virtuous, chaste lives, and that sex is designed by God to be between a husband and wife. Bible references are from the King James Version of the Bible. In the lessons, Bible references are in purple text. Consider opening the family Bible or a personal copy of the Bible to read these scriptures with the children.
The lesson about sex covers sexual intercourse, abstinence before marriage, the difference between love and lust, avoiding petting and masturbation, and respecting the bodies of others. This lesson also contains a Q&A portion for guidance on answering questions.
The Whole Story
Sheila Wray Gregoire from Bare Marriage (formerly To Love, Honor and Vaccum) has an online video course to help parents start talking to their kids about sex, puberty and growing up – The Whole Story (this is an affiliate link).
The Whole Story is available as two versions, with a separate version for boys and girls.
The boys’ course has two versions: younger boys aged 10 to 13 years and older boys aged 14 to 16 years. Or you can buy the VIP Package which contains both versions.
The girl’s course has a younger version (10 to 12 years) as well as an older version (13 to 16 years). You can also buy this as a VIP Package which contains both versions.
Or you can buy The Whole Story with all four versions ie the younger and older boys, and the younger and older girls.
I like Sheila’s approach; she is very practical and down-to-earth. So if you like her books and emails, you’ll like this course. Have a good look through her website as she tackles topics like sex and masturbation in her blogs.