How to Teach Kids Internet Safety

This page contains information about internet safety for kids.

And even though internet safety for children isn’t a part of sex education, it is still very relevant.

Children will be exposed to sexually explicit images, may send nude pictures of themselves (or receive them from others), will have romantic relationships online (including online sex), will use social media, and will search for information about sex (and bodies) online. They’ll also be bombarded with lots of unwanted sexualised messages from the media, their peers and society in general.

When left unchecked, all of these things will have an impact on your child’s sexual development (in a negative way).

So…

This blog post is designed to help you start empowering your child to stay safe when online. I’ll also share some of my favourite online safety resources with you, as they allow you to spend more time talking (and less searching).

You can also find more helpful resources to help you with the porn talk on my Pornography 101 page!

Let’s get started!

Create family rules

The easiest way to start with internet safety (besides reading children’s books) is by creating family rules. Family rules about the internet will provide your child with clear guidelines on what they can and can’t do when online.

And the earlier you start implementing family rules, the easier it is to enforce them.

My favourite internet safety tips

Here are some of my favourite internet safety tips for families.

Ask before going online or downloading new apps or games.

Encourage your child to ask before going online or using a device, downloading a new app, signing up for a new game, and clicking on popups and sidebar advertisements. Common Sense Media is an invaluable resource for checking if apps and games are age-appropriate (or not).

Only talk to people you know.

When using social media or online messaging, teach your child to make their profile private and only to add friends they know in real life. Remind them to talk to you before chatting with people they don’t know.

Don’t give out personal information about yourself.

Teach your child to avoid sharing personal stuff online, like their full name, address or phone number. Someone could try to use this information to find them. Please help them to choose a fun nickname instead.

Think carefully before you press send.

Always remind your child that they can get in trouble with the Police if they send naked photos of themself or other people. They can also get in trouble if they bully someone or talk about hurting them. Almost everything they share online ends up on public access, whether they want it to (or not).

Watch what you buy online.

Some things on the internet need money, like playing games or shopping. Create a family rule where they have to talk to parents before spending money online.

No taking pictures of private body parts.

Another important family rule is not to take photos of private body parts (or let someone take pictures of theirs). Start to talk about selfies and appropriate photos. Get into the habit of always asking if it’s a photo/picture they would show a grandparent (or school teacher).

Talk to an adult if you feel worried.

Some things on the internet might make us feel scared or confused. Remind your child to always talk to a parent or a trusted adult if they are worried about something online.

Use devices in public spaces.

Avoid letting kids view the Internet in isolated places. You should always be able to walk past and casually see what they are up to.

Using devices at other homes.

Please help your child understand that they must be cautious when using a device or online in someone else’s home. Discuss what should happen when at a friend’s house and what they could do in risky situations.

Ongoing conversations.

Internet safety is an ongoing conversation that you will keep on revisiting. This means you will talk about what’s relevant and keep reminding your child of the basics.

Social media safety

Social media is an everyday part of life for tweens and teens. It is how they connect with people they may (or may not) know in the real world. Younger kids usually start using social media to play online games before graduating onto platforms like Instagram, Tumblr, Tik Tok and Facebook.

Social media can be enjoyable and beneficial for your kids. It can help them to connect with family and friends, expand their social circle, allow them to share their creativity through music and art, help them to explore different ideas, assist in helping them to develop and express their unique identity and provide them with opportunities to learn new things with others.

Some of the common risks on social media include access to inappropriate content (such as pornography), sexting and image-based abuse (also known as revenge porn), having their personal information shared, accidentally downloading viruses or malware, being groomed online, being catfished, being embarrassed, harassed or attacked on social media.

Here are some ideas on what you could talk about with your child:

• Provide a clear expectation about their online behaviour.
• Use strong passwords and update them regularly.
• Encourage them not to share passwords with friends.
• Teach them about the consequences of sharing something online.
• Discuss that people most often post what they want others to think is happening in their life. Other people’s “highlight reel” may make them feel inadequate and rejected.
• Encourage them to connect only with people they know offline.
• Keep identifying information to a minimum, eg do not reveal their location.
• Encourage them to talk with a trusted adult about online issues.
• Change privacy settings so only friends and family can view their profiles and posts.
• Be aware of what your child is doing online and who they talk with.

Don’t forget to grab a book, as there are some fantastic children’s books about social media safety.

Mobile phones

Kids need to be taught how to use their phones responsibly. Don’t forget to role model responsible use. Kids learn more by what you do than what you say!

Responsible mobile phone use is about sticking to family rules about phone use, managing costs by keeping track of call, text and data usage, keeping the phone charged and safe and not losing or damaging it, and being safe and respectful in calls, texts and social media posts.

Possible rules to consider for mobile phone use could include all phones to be switched off or not used during family meals, phones to stay out of bedrooms after a time you agree on, phones and other devices are charged in a family area overnight (not bedrooms), mobile phones are put down when you’re talking face to face with each other. Some families will create a family agreement that both the parent and child will sign.

Here are some other things you can do as a parent. You can be a good role model and set an example of how you expect them to behave. Be intentional about how and when you view the various forms of media in your home. View media together as a family instead of individually in isolated areas around your home. Be aware that frequent media exposure does affect child development and relational perceptions, especially in young children. Limit usage time to recommended time limits. And set up media-free zones in your home.

Online Safety Contract

Some parents like to sign a written contract with their child and place it in a visible location as an ongoing reminder. You can create your own contract or find one online. You’ll find two online agreements inside my Internet Safety Rules! Poster Set, one for 3 to 6 year olds, and another for 6 to 12 year old children.

An online safety contract is a good reminder of what to talk about. Find one online, print it out and stick it on the fridge. Set yourself a goal to talk about at least one thing each week (tick them off as you work your way through the list).

Internet safety books for kids

Books can be a great way to start and continue the conversation. Some books are more general, whereas others are specific and focus on just one aspect of the conversation.

I have a list of children’s books about internet safety. I’ve individually reviewed these books, and each has a video where I show you inside the book.

Try to read one internet safety book with your child at least once a week. I used to let my kids pick one book, and then I would choose a book. Which meant it was easy to include an ‘educational’ book without too much complaining. Don’t forget also to see what books are available at your local library. This is a good way to include variety at no cost!

You can find more books on other internet safety topics, like online porn, media literacy, social media safety and sending nudes (or sexting).

Internet Safety Videos

Make life easier for yourself, and utilise some free resources, like educational videos. You can find some of my favourites in my internet safety videos blog post.

Porn & internet safety resources

Common Sense is a fantastic resource that wants to make the digital world safer for kids and families. Common Sense Media is their parent resource, where they review the latest movies, TV shows, books, games, podcasts, apps, and YouTube, as well as provide parent tips and an extensive selection of FAQs.

eSafety has advice for parents and carers to help kids stay safe online. There are too many resources here to mention, and it is an invaluable internet safety resource!

eSafety Kids is a website with information for 5 to 12 year old children about internet safety.

eSafety Young People has information to help teens stay safe online.

Free online safety picture book and song for children under the age of five. The Swoosh, Glide and Rule Number 5 picture book and My Family Rules song encourage young children to be safe, be kind, ask for help and make good choices when they are online.

Kids Helpline has resources for kids aged 5 to 12 years about being safe on the internet, online gaming: is this bullying?, cyberbullying, knowing who to trust online, seeing scary stuff in the news, and more!

Kids Helpline has resources for teens aged 13 to 17 years about staying safe online, cyberbullying, online harassment, online gaming, and more!

raisingchildren.net.au has internet safety resources for parents sorted into the different age groups of children aged 2-5 years, for preschoolers, for school age children, for pre-teens, and teens. These lists are extensive and include cyberbullying, media literacy, social media, screen time, gaming and more!

Parental controls

Parental controls are software tools that allow you to monitor and limit what your child sees and does online. They allow you to block your child from accessing specific websites, apps or functions, filter out content (like porn or violence), monitor what your child does online, and set limits as to when your child can access the internet and for how long.

Parental controls can be helpful but can also place your child at greater risk. I have lost count of how many parents I have seen set up parental controls, believe their child is safe, not talk about internet safety and then turn to me in a panic on realising their child has been exposed to porn.

Please don’t make the same mistake other parents make! Read my blog post about parental control software, as it is full of helpful tips. I have also reviewed the two parental control tools I used at home: BARK and Qustodio.

Start training them young

Regardless of how many conversations you start, the books you read and the videos you watch… it’ll never be enough. You can never have complete control over the internet to ensure 100% safety for your children, regardless of age.

But it doesn’t matter, as what truly matters is that you build a strong, trusting relationship with your children around their use of the internet. It’s about creating an environment where they feel comfortable turning to you when things go wrong online. Whether they stumble upon something scary in a video or someone sends them a message with a link to online porn, you want them to know that they can turn to you for support.

So instead of responding with anger or threatening to take away their technology, I’m encouraging you to approach these situations differently. Listen to your child and thank them for telling you. Work together with them to find a solution and revisit your family rules.

This will help your child understand that you are always here for them whenever they face online challenges.

Happy talking!
❤️ Cath